April 10, 2012

(TMI warning for some of you guys out there)

Another day waking up in pain. My ankles, my knees, my hips, my back, my shoulders, and my neck.... I am still struggling with the lack of Advil in my regimen. I love to play with my little daughter. However, she is a toddler and very active. Her favorite things to do DAILY are dance, twirl, jump, bounce, etc to music. I have to say I cannot wait to be rid of all my pain. In an attempt to keep up with her and not disappoint her, I force myself to do this with her daily, even knowing what the repercussions will be to my joints. Not to mention, when my daughter wants to jump and bounce to her favorite song everyday, I just about take myself out with my boobs! The sheer physics of it all is kind of funny actually I go up, and the velocity of my boobs seem to continue to accelerate as they head toward the sky (or rather my face) like two melons being launched out of a sling shot. The funny part is you are already on your way back down as your boobs lift further, then they drop at the rate of gravity (9.81 m/s²) VERY quickly after. There is nothing like the jerking halt of what feels like two giant bowling balls tied to a string around your neck being dropped off the edge of a building. I know I am not the only one who knows this feeling. This isn't just with jumping, or bouncing, this is also with running. Even in situations you would never dream of.... Once as I sat in a friends speedboat going over the choppiest of waters. Yep, that sure did make for some entertainment for a good 30 minutes as I did everything I could to keep these puppies under control. It did give some good laughs though. Another funny boob story, I took my son to an arcade for the day (little mom and son time) He wanted to play this virtual roller coaster, so I get on, lean back and the entire ride starts to move with the movie screen. Well, I have to say, laying on your back with your breasts jerking around in just about 360 degree turns is not a pleasant experience. My point is, I can't wait to get rid of these knockers! They are in my way; they make my back hurt, my shoulders hurt, and my neck hurt. I want little itty-bitty boobies with a cute lacy bra. I would like to work out in a sports bra without having the enormous uniboob that is oh so stylish. I have no doubt when I take all this weight off that is pounding down on my joints I will feel better and I can continue to play with my very active daughter pain free. Ooooooooh the day can't come soon enough.