I got such cold feet a couple of weeks ago that I considered canceling the surgery. I had all of these second thoughts and fears that suddenly came up -- What if I regret having it done? What if I die on the operating table in a bizarre twist of fate? What if I feel sickly for the rest of my life? So, being concerned that I was feeling this way, I looked for help. First, I posted about my fears to the VST community. ALL the responses were so helpful! Here is one of the replies (from happylife). It’s reading things like this that make me think things are going to be ok and maybe even great!

"I second guessed my decision to have the sleeve too. I backed out once. Cancelled the surgery. Managed to have the surgery done and was the less than 1% with a major complication...lol. I really understand how rare I am. This surgery was one of the best decisions that I have ever made for myself. I am so grateful for it. I weigh 138 with a two lb bounce. I am really healthy my bloodwork came back excellent last week. I am never ravenously hungry anymore. But can eat pretty much everything just not a massive amount. The funny thing is you dont want to anymore. But I still enjoy food. You know I feel so good about myself. I really wish my happiness for everyone."

The next thing I did was text my two best friends to tell them I was scared. They called me immediately and listened to me cry for awhile and helped me to think about things. After that, I talked to a friend at my office. Finally, I called a counselor and set up an appointment to help me figure out what I wanted to do and to help me move forward with confidence. Just opening up and talking about my fears to people who cared and wanted to help was the absolute best thing I could have done. I realized that the surgery is the right decision for me, that I don't want to go back to the frustrating cycle of dieting and losing weight and gaining it back again. My dear friend Julie had this wonderful advice for me:

"There really is not an easy way to transformation whether we are talking about our souls or our bodies...it always has to have some sacrifice or pain. If I pray and read every morning it sets me behind at something else, but praying and studying are the path for transformation of the soul. If its our bodies, it's either time in the gym exercising or outside exercising. The sacrifice of the food we enjoy and the amount of it. Or the decision of a lifetime of change which means the pain of surgery and the loss of the eating style we love. And, for the soul or the body we have to remain disciplined. There just aren't any shortcuts. So, I was wondering, which path is the right path for your transformation? Either choice will have its pain and sacrifice. Which way can bring you the outcome and which sacrifice can you handle? I think they are both difficult, but it is probably time for transformation."

So my recommendation for anyone who is having second thoughts about getting the surgery done is to open up and be honest about your feelings. Talk to people who care about you. Talk to the great folks in the VST community. Figure out what it is that you really want, and then go for it. Don't let cold feet get in the way!