Greetings,

So I have decided to lay off the surgery for a while. God, I totally feel like I am putting the cat among the pigeons here...

I have been praying on this every Salat for the past month, hoping that Allah will guide me to making the right decision. And I believe He did, for the time being.

Firstly, I had a baby, only a mere 7 months ago - my breasts are still producing milk, even though I have stopped pumping which suggests to me that my hormones dont know whether to scratch their watches or wind their butts..I read that it can take a full year for your bod to get back to normal after having a baby.

Secondly, I gotta finish my dissertation this spring break - 12 000 words more to go - Oy Vey!

Thirdly, after having read oh so much literature on this surgery, I dont really feel like I have given it 'one last shot'. So I have started. I started the C25K programme which I am loving, and have lost 3kg this week. I bought a set of scales - something I NEVER EVER thought I would do because of my innate fear of them - and have used them.

Finally, after having met with my sleeved buddies (who I love TO DEATH) I have decided to give myself two conditions: a) if I become heavier than I am now then I will immediately do the surgery. if I do not become heavier but fail to lose a good amount of weight over the next year, then I will do the surgery.

My head has been totally up my butt over this and I have SO much admiration for everyone who has done this surgery. It is a BIG change. But for me, now is not the time. I haven't discounted it at all by any means - I am just giving it a go on my own first. My sleeved buddies are so supportive and so full of wisdom and light - I am so blessed to have met them.

Maybe some of you think that I am a complete wuss but I know that most of you will believe that everyone has their own journey to make.

All your messages of support and advice have been invaluable. Truly. I'll still be visiting here and blogging my thoughts occasionally.

Anyway, good luck to all of you brave hotties. You are all amazing people.

Peace, love and light to you all xxx