I started this journy seven years ago, and at the time I was with a guy who I let talk me out of it because his self esteem was jacked up and he took mine with him while we were together after I stopped the process for surgery. Fast forward to 2010 I realized that I would be 40 in two years, and after having two strokes before the age of 40 I decided I wanted to Fabulous, Fierce, Fit, and Forty. I went for my yearly physical with my regular Doctor who is the best freaking Doctor in the world and I can't wait to see him in August to show him whats been going on since my physical early in January. I returned to the same Doctors he sat me up with seven years ago because he didn't want me to go to anyone who would "butcher me" as he said. This time around I was going through with the process because I have an 18yr old daughter to think about. I hit the ground running with pre op appointments was banging them out left and right making sure all of the reports were faxed to my Doctors office in Westchester.

Most people only go for one cardio clearance but I ended up going for two visit pretaining to my upcoming surgery. Because of my history of clots and strokes I had to see a Hemotologist and she requested I have a TEE echo cardiogram which is when they stick a tube down your throat and look at your heart. I am SO SO Grateful for her ordering this test because it found the small hole in my heart which is the reason why I had two strokes back in 2007. Its small enough that it doesn't need surgery but big enough for clots to go through. I had a few set backs lost some weight getting me excited that I was getting close to a surgery date and then gained a few pounds making my surgery date look and feel so far out of my reach. Fast forward to 2012 I did the gaining of weight one more time with a surgery date already scheduled for March 20th 2012. It was nothing but the grace of GOD and CrAzY determination that I lost 4lbs in one week when I went back for my pre op class I was a few pounds below my target weight but I made it!

I thought I hit another roadblock with the weight when I went for my pre op appointment with Dr. Cerabona when he dropped the bomb on me that my choice of Gastric Bypass as my surgery wasn't safe for me because I'd have to go back on my anticoagulant and aspirin which would put me at risk for ulcers and possible bleeding. I couldn't do the lapband because my insurance would only pay for 3 and the others would have to come out of my pocket, and the sleeve my insurance company hadn't approved. Again my surgery date was a week away and I was about to give up. Dr. Cerabona and his staff went to bat for me to get my insurance company to approve me for the sleeve. I was seven days away from my surgery date and was so nervous that all of my hard work was about to go down the drain. My pre op appointment was on the 13 of March. On the morning of the 15 of March I got a phone call from his office and I was so afraid to pick up the phone but I closed my eyes and did, and I'M SO GLAD I DID because they got my insurance company to approve me for the sleeve! I was so happy and my eyes were filled with tears of joy because I had finally got to where I've wanted to be.

Then the anxiety set in and I almost called off the surgery but my daughter who is the best kid I could ever have and wouldn't trade her for another one gave me a pep talk putting my fears at ease. March 20th was a big day and my day started at 3am because I was catching the first train from Poughkeepsie to Tarrytown and then a cab the rest of the way. I panic because I had to switch trains in Croton -Harmon. Everything went off without a hitch. I paid the cabbie and got out of the cab and walked into the hospital to start the second part of my journey. I thought it was the best thing in the world for my surgery date to be the first day of spring because everything starts new and I was starting new. New life, New Me, New Stomach! I'm now one week post op and I'm beyond happy because I'm shedding 16yrs of weight and hurts. The weight was like a cocoon sheilding me but at the same time it was killing me. I'm happy with how my butterfly process is going and I'm looking forward to all it has for me. I've found myself actually looking at food labels now when I do shopping before I'd make a list go buy and go home. Now its different because this way of eating will keep me alive. I consider myself an expert on medicine taking since after my strokes I've been taking different medicines so adding a few vitamins to the mix was like nothing. I know those vitamins will keep me healthy as I heal and continue to lose the weight.

I'm happy with the option that was provided for me because the insurance company could've said no, and I would've just continued on the regiment that the nutritionist put me on the help me get rid of the last couple of pounds and loose the weight on my own. I'm still in the liquid stage of things which is 9 ozs a day 3 ozs for breakfast, 3 ozs for lunch, and 3 ozs for dinner. Trying to prepare myself for my first blenderized meal now so I can have all the ingrediants on hand because I like to plan ahead right down to the last detail. I hope it goes off without a hitch. I know that its all about portion control because I know someone who's had GBS and they've gained plus than what they were before surgery. They are a constant reminder of where I don't want to go or be. I'm looking forward to heading to the gym in the upcoming months to tone myself up so I won't have to have plastic surgery to remove excess skin in some places. We'll see what happens come next year this time if the Lord is willing.