So, today I go back to work. I feel ready physically. I'm anxious and somewhat emotional about it. I work for a fierce woman, who when I started there 5 years ago, she had an admin, who had WLS, and unfortunately, this woman had lots of complications. My boss fired her. Too much sick time. Thankfully, I've had nothing but success. Problem is, I did not tell her about the surgery, as she can't be trusted, is condemning, judgemental and an while I respect her work, I don't respect her. She feeds on gossip and inuendo and takes it as truth. I was very specific in my FMLA paperwork that I feared retaliation/retribution if she were to find out what my surgery was for. She's that shallow. I will follow up with my HR Director first thing - but I'm still somewhat nervous. The only person who knows at work is my assistant, and my Lead. My Lead, is the one who told me about the letter of medical necessity and how his wife was able to get the procedure with the support of her Primary and that letter. Thank God for him.

I've had insomnia for about a week. Every day up at 1, 2, 3 - in bed by 8, so exhausted. I hope that part ends. It might just be my anxiety over returning to work. Why can't I be independently healthy?

I finally told my Dad & his wife about the surgery. She had the Gastric By Pass about 10 years ago, because of her NASH and some other issues. She's done well. I'm surprised my dad was supportive, I sort of knew he would be - but in the same breath I don't think he truly understands the emotional challenges that lead to obesity. I'm glad he was supportive.

With the smooshey foods - I can tolerate just about anything - but only about 2 ounces before fear sets in - I can feel my body filling up and I am scared to puke. So I stop. I figure if I sip my Isopure all day I'll for sure meet my protien requirements. Slow and stead wins the race. So good by hooverisms, inhaling food without thought and stress eating. I know you are there with me - but I am and will continue to conquer you.

I continue to walk with my family in the morning - since we are up - we all go - and it is a nice new habit I'm forming.I hope today is stress free and I don't encounter the beast (my boss) too often.