Awkward
Today I went to lunch with co workers for the first time since being sleeved. Its the first time eating in front of anyone besides family and close friends. We went to this swanky, high end place in a very pricey and exclusive part of town. (Think mid-west Beverly Hills type scene). Lots of noses in the air and foods with no prices next to them. I would have been more comfortable at Chili's
*sidebar* Last week we had a meeting at work with a taco bar and I was able to eat my half taco unnoticed. There were like 20 people in the room. THIS lunch, however, was very intimate. There were 7 of us at a table in this mood-lit room. I was being very quiet (which is SO not me) because 1- I was freeezing cold and 2- I knew what was coming. There were 2 people there whom I am sure do not know about my sleeve. Anyone who knows me, though, knows that I don't mind sharing. The other people who knew (one was my boss and one my best work friend and one who is getting R N Y) had told the secretary (who was at the table as well). Keeping up? That's 4. One of the 2 who did not know...I don't really like her so I had no interest in speaking to her at all...and the other (who sat right across from me) I don't really mind so much. BUT he is a loud, gaudy guy so...make your own inferences.
So...We all sit and ponder what to order. I noticed that there were many foods on the menu that I am allergic to AND that I just can't have yet (raw fruits and veggies). What happens? I was forced to order the most expensive menu item AND ask for a substitution! Now, my co workers all look at each other like "Uhm hum...HERE goes Mrs. Prisses...BOUGIE!" But I really had to order the best thing for my sleeve. It doesn't help that I am the only...ethnic one...at the table (of maybe 4 in the whole establishment). Mind you, I am not so bothered by this...I am very secure in myself and can hang with any crowd. Here comes the part that bothers me...
Everyone orders dessert first (none for me, thanks)...Then orders the meals. They SCARFED down their food...FAST! I mean these people didn't conversate between bits or anything. They ate like some starving Ethiopians! So...here's me with my filet and roasted asparagus with wild mushrooms...looking around like "Uhm...stop watching me eat!" And here is the guy across from me like "Oh you don't like your food?" Then the waitress "Oh, is there a problem?" and me again "No, its wonderful thank you." And I have to tell the guy all about my sleeve just to keep him from going on and on. Now...I didn't HAVE to tell him but I felt so awkward and icky...
What I did learn; 1- no pressure or situation will MAKE me over eat again (YAY)
2- nothing can embarrass me more than having attention drawn to BAD eating habits, so its fine to get looks and comments on "eating like a bird" (but weird because I am STILL fat so it just ends up looking precocious.)
3- Always order off the appetizer menu
4- Thank GOD for giving me the visual of what it looks like to eat like a wild animal...and that I will never do it again!
5- There are going to be many awkward moments, and that's okay. I am doing this for me...not ANYONE ELSE!
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