So, tomorrow is my surgery. I find out today what time I have to be at the hospital. It is really starting to set in...my life is going to be changing. I've been stuck in this rut for years and been overweight all my life. I know I'm ready for this change, but it's just a scary thing. I'm trying to make peace with everything before I go in. Make sure everything is good in my life. I took "before" pictures of myself yesterday before I go in and I just can't believe how big I am. I don't like it. I can't wait to lose this and look and feel good about myself. Once I get out of that hospital it's a new me, new decisions, new life, and I'm leaving my past behind me. No more will I let it get me down. No more will I think about the nasty words my ex use to say to me when we were together. No more will I put myself down. From here on out I will tell myself I'm beautiful inside and out. I

I'm honestly ready to have a panic attack. For my scope I did and it wasn't that bad lol I was close to backing out then just because I was afraid. I can't think about the fear...I have to think about the end result, but I'm still a nervous wreck. This is my first surgery and the first time I've ever stayed overnight in the hospital. So thankful for my best friend who is going to stay overnight with me. I have such good friends and an AMAZING family that have my back through this whole thing. I couldn't ask for anything more. I thank God every day for the many blessings and I know this is just another blessing he has given me. An awesome surgeon who cares, family, friends, and this surgery. I'm so excited to start my new life. To start working again after years of being unemployed, getting a car again, finding my own place, going to school. I want to travel the world and above all I want to help people. Just pray that God helps me to stay strong through this all. It's already been exhausting emotionally, but I know I'll get through it.