Every morning when I wake up, I weigh myself. When I'm home from the gym and about to get in the shower, I do it again. Sometimes after my classes are over, I'll do it for a third time. Without fail, I do it before bedtime too. That's four times on the scale every day. If I didn't weigh myself in the morning, I would feel anxious all day thinking that I might have missed a new low weight. I kept telling myself that this would be the last time and that after this, I wouldn't weigh myself for another week. It never worked like that. I felt drawn to it. I had to weigh myself.

For the record, I'm in the last semester of my bachelor's degree in Biology. I know that body weight fluctuates every hour of the day for reasons other than fat. Even still, if the number was up from the day or hours before, I was devastated. My life was so centered on the scale that last night, I finally cracked. I had eaten an (extremely) high sodium meal for lunch today, so obviously my weight went up. (2 pounds, for the record) When I saw that number, I immediately started making plans to do a pouch test because OBVIOUSLY, my sleeve wasn't working. For once, my rational thoughts won over and I did what I should have done a long time ago. I reached down for the scale, and removed the batteries.

It wont be forever, but it is definitely what I needed to do for my own sanity. I'm going to only weigh myself on Monday mornings and on the 11th of the month. It's high time that I start giving myself a break and admit that I've been incredibly successful so far, and that my self confidence should not revolve around the number on that scale. It is merely a tool to make sure that I'm making the decisions that will promote success with my sleeve, and health for the rest of my life.