Wwoww, this is a full plate to deal with. Sometimes it's wise to take a step back and recognize that there is nothing you can do to get your mom and sister to wake up, and start eating healthier. They are at the same place many of us were at that contributed to our choice of getting a surgery. I know it hurts like hell to see the people you love suffering and you can't do anything about it. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that they are not really to make a change to a new life style. Yes, if they don't have insurance and they can't afford the surgery, then they are probably in some kind of depression. It's like a giant black hole the they can't climb out of. Thanks for sharing this struggle. You are powerless over your mom and sister's poor choices. But you can role model for them more healthy eating and refuse to take over unhealthy food for them. Take care and take alot of deep breaths, and try to relax. Enjoy your new journey. You are example to them.

Hi! Your entry really sounds like something I could have written myself. I have watched my mother develop many of the same symptoms and problems as those you described for yours. She is not yet as severe as what your mom is going through, but I fear that her life will develop into that in a few years. I bring her food because I feel guilty if I don't, all the time knowing that what she is eating is adding fuel to the fire.

It is one of the hardest things to watch. Knowing you can't do anything to change it is also a terrifying feeling. It's like you can see yourself mirrored in that person... but luckily we have had the surgery and taken the steps to prevent us from turning into our parents.

We are making the best change we can for us! I really hope the best for your family and mine.

My heart goes out to you. How hard it must be to be so aware of your situation, trying to improve it and have others live the extreme opposite, especially while dealing with recently being sleeved.

A few things,

1) You seem to be quite young, thank God that you did not get caught up in this for the rest of your life. You are stopping that chain , that life cycle of dysfunction. Many of us have families living in these same situations. I am 47 years old and wish I stopped abusing myself long ago with food. My father died of obesity related illnesses and all his siblings. I was right there with them for years. So give yourself some credit, you are doing something for them. Be an example. Be loving to them but make good choices for you. You can not change them, and it sounds like they don't want to change.

2) I hope you understand how this relates....

Three of my siblings died of drug related incidents. I really was bitter with them for some time, without even realizing it. I did not understand it, I was so bothered by seeing my sister wither into a shell of who she was. I was a lot younger and very impressionable. I was experimenting with things I shouldn't of been also yet I made different choices and by the grace of God had the will to stop.

My point is this...I now look at there lifestyles as a lesson to me. When they died like that it was not in vane. Do you understand? I might not always no what I want but I sure no what I don't want. I did not want to go out like that. Looking at them in this perspective, allows me to live free of that lifestyle. They showed me very well what I did not want to end up like.

Your family is actually showing you something very powerful. I know you want to save them and it hurts terribly but you can't honey.

Don't be angry with them, it will eat you up. Love you Mama while she is here. Show your sister how she can recover. Pray!!!!

-Sorry to go on and on....

I feel your pain, i have an aunt who i would like to have the surgery . we got in an argument over the phone because i suggested that she might want to take the surgery route. she has to be at least 150 pounds over weight . like everyone she has tried multiple diets and programs and have failed. i know how it is to be super morbidly obese, my pre-diet weight before the diet was 540, pre-op weight was 490 and i am now at 420. its heart breaking when you want to help someone so much but cannot because of there fears. It pains me to see family suffer through obesity.I would suggest to try to lead by example and shows them how your life has improved after having the surgery. i am hoping that after my aunt see's my weight loss and realizes how much my life has improved and make the choice to better herself .By the way i am 24.

First, thank you for being so transparent. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Please allow me to apologize in advance if this comes across the wrong way and I pray this doesn't sound harsh but the change in your family really isn't up to you. It sounds like you want more for them than they want for themselves. You want them to be healthy, happy, to have no weight induced illnessess, and you'd like for them to practice better eating habits. These are all wonderful things. However, they have to want it for themselves. It would be nice if love alone could fix this but there's probably more to their eating than the love of food. I pray that your successful weight loss will encourage them to make a decision to follow in your footsteps. Even if they don't decide to have a surgical procedure, eating right and exercise would be great steps to take. Here's wishing you lots of success. Chin up, be encouraged and continue to pray for your family.

First thing's first. You are NOT alone in this. So many of us can empathize with the situation. The sad fact is, you can't do anything to make them get in control. You have to prepare yourself for the worst, and be a shining example to them of the best that you can be.

I'm prepared for my mother to die at an early age - my siblings are not. I don't have kids and they do - they have that extra attachment of having to explain to their kids where their Grandma went. Its a hard situation. All you can do is take care of you and show them that life isn't over.

And I just want my mom to be around when I have kids! I've watched my aunt (whom I'm very close with) and my cousins as they've had their children and there is this huge green eyed monster in me as I watch. My mother- even if she is alive- can never watch my kids for me, she will never be able to come to my house and just do a load of laundry to help me out... She barely made it to the hospital for my surgery- only by the grace of god was my fathers power chair strong enough to carry her around. It was so nice having my "mommy" there in recovery until the stupid power chair bumped my bed lol.... My mother and I have such a rocky history- that if something happens to her before I'm able to work it all out... Idk.