Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
  • entries
    54
  • comments
    158
  • views
    15,483

Self Consciousness

Sign in to follow this  
circa

335 views

So hubby wants to go out to dinner tonite with friends from work. It REALLY bothers me. I haven't met anyone he works with yet - we just moved here and I'm really not comfortable in my own skin around people in the condition I'm in. I have never in my life been uncomfortable around people. I have no idea how to deal with this. I mean, I don't want to be the fat girl at the table. I don't want them to go back to work and say "woah - have you met her? She's really FAT!". I know I should have some faith in people but even some of my husband's friends have made comments about me and about how they thought my husband should leave me because I was ill and then getting fat. No, he doesn't hang out with these people anymore. I'm just tired of explaining to people - not that I owe them anything, but I feel the need to. I mean, I avoided one of my dear friends for 4 years because the last time he saw me I was rockin' a bathing suit on a canoe trip and a year later, I'm twice the size I was. I couldn't face him - I think mostly because I don't understand how this really happened. They told me I would be in treatment for 6 months. Well, here it is 4 and a half years later and those treatments have given me steroid-secreting tumors that have caused so many problems. I have come to terms with what happened - I get that I have to be the one to fix it - and that's what I'm doing. I'm just trying to get a new start without the judging of other people who have NO IDEA where I've been and what I have gone through and still continue to go through.

 

But I'm going to dinner. I have to continue to have some faith in people. Here's my first chance.

Sign in to follow this  


3 Comments


Recommended Comments

Go to dinner with your head held high. Your husband loves you, or else he would not be with you. You are working on your weight so don't let that be a factor right now. Go out enjoy yourself and most of all your husband. Time will take care of the weight. Have fun.

Share this comment


Link to comment

I did. I did go out and have a good time. There were a couple awkward moments because they were talking about people at work that were of size and were not appropriate with their size. What I mean by that is, when you know that you're of size, you probably shouldn't try to sit in a little mini armchair and then be all shocked when you don't fit. And I'm not talking about a normal size chair - I'm talking about a kids chair that has arms that I wouldn't sit in if I weighed a quarter of what I do now. Then they apologized to me for making the comment - and I was like....uhm - why apologize to me? I'm not trying to squeeze my ass into a hello kitty chair. But other that it was pretty fun.

Share this comment


Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

×