today i had soup--2x. once for lunch--only about 1/2 cup of soup. and that was fine.

but THEN....a few hours later (probably 4.5 hours), i had BIG plate of soup--probably 2 cups. TOO MUCH. ugh. it's about 7 hrs later and i have no desire to eat ANYTHING. i was wayyyy too full from that soup---and i could immediately feel the effects from the band or my stomach or WHATEVER--about 5 min after i downed that entire thing of soup.

ugh.

major mistake.

also, on friday--had esophogeal spasms. probably from how fast i ate "dinner" (1 optifast shake AND some more damn soup) on thursday night--again, i immediately realized--"that was NOT good"--and suffered for it right through friday afternoon.

now--i DON'T want to be known at the surgeon's office as "that P.I.T.A. patient again" (for those who need to know definition of p.i.t.a.--write me privately) and i hesitated to call them -- so i reached out to someone here, and got back the "esophogeal spasm" explanation--and yep--sounded just like what i had done to myself. so--by not eating anything filling for the morning--and taking 2 advil--i eventually felt better.

i MUST get used to the 1/2 cup limit. it's just that NOTHING that small EVER filled me up in the past. it's so NOT ME (bitter laugh).

well--the measuring cup is about to be my new best friend.

and although tomorrow, sunday, is one day short of the 2 wks past surgery day--and technically 1 day early to start mushy food--i think i want to start it AT HOME--just to see if i can eat it. i DO NOT want to be at work, trying this out for the first time. (ok, ok, i COULD just eat soup at work for lunch, as i've been doing---but i KNOW myself--and i KNOW my temptations...).

then again---after today's fiasco with the 2 cups of soup---maybe i SHOULD just stay on the "soup at lunch" plan i've been on. i really haven't been hungry.

ok--another lesson learned. ouch.

but still--i don't HATE the band inside me--it's not that the pain i've felt has been so overwhelming that i want it ripped out of me--it's more like "ok, you've GOT to learn how you'll be feeling with this---and learn to live with the limits." i WANT limits-this is what i signed up for...so, in a weird way--it's all GOOD. eventually---i'm going to "get it."