I've noticed that I have these certain scripts that I go to constantly. I have learned that I can "get away" with semi-solid foods even though it's not past two weeks yet. So, I say to myself (or try to rationalize) that this is completely ok, and that it's not fair that my family can have sweets and whatnot when I can't. So my resolve falters and I find myself in my room on my bed, crying because I'm a failure (or so i have labeled myself).

The other thing I find is that so often things happen so fast that I can't seem to get a handle on them. It was like this even before my surgery, and I don't quite know why I thought it would change after, because it certainly hasn't. I find myself saying my scripts, and before I know it, the deed is done, and I can't take it back.

So what do I do? What is the solution for a Jesus girl (term I LOVE--from Lysa Terkeurst's "Made to Crave") like me?

I've been praying about it, and I'm still not quite sure. Except maybe for praying scripture, and tearing myself away from the situation. Also, I think writing in my journal would help--I'm kind of an obsessive writer... and writing in my journal is one of the biggest ways I am able to feel free enough to pray.

But I think the solution is probably in prevention. Seeing a thought coming, being on guard all the time, and praying for God's strength to see me through. Because I can't fool myself into thinking that I can do this on my own. It's not possible. I need divine willpower, and a shield made of miracles. And God is the only One who can provide those things for me.

Anyway, those were just some thoughts I've been having..

If there are any prayer requests, I would love to take the time to pray for you.

Erica