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Ferocious Frustration!

cuteascanbelizzie

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My first VSG blog and it's going to be a vent session. I am truly frustrated! Admittedly the frustration is with me. I am struggling with getting in the protein in and I don't know what to do. I am in the pureed stage and I Yesterday I almost reached the goal (60 grams) and had one cup of refried beans to go. They were tasty but at my 2nd spoonful they got stuck. Guess I was eating too fast or not chewing them up enough but they were very stuck. Fortunately, I haven't vomited since coming home but last night I was very close. After about 30 minutes of pacing the floor I drank some hot water, which helped to get the beans down but not with the wave of nausea. Today I'm back on the liquid train just so I can try to manage this well.

 

Also, I'm wondering why some people volunteer to help during this time and they don't do anything but cause frustration. I asked a co-worker to take the lead on a project during my recovery but nothing has gotten done. I consider the co-worker a friend and this situation really made me angry. Now my students won’t get something I really wanted to give them before the break.

 

Lastly, is the basis of all of my frustration. I really want to be the old me because it was so much easier than actually having to take care of myself. I have never really been so concerned about eating to live. Eating is a part of life so I just did it. Now what I consume is even more important than ever and I'm frustrated with feeling so restricted by my own needs. I want to be able to cook a chicken breast, chew it, swallow and be done. No puree, no liquid protein, nothing! I want to be able to make sure I get to see my students before Christmas and be able to orchestrate everything I need to for them without having to worry about adult issues. I simply want to put my needs behind me and take care of everything else first. It's what I've always done and how I've never managed to lose enough weight to become healthy. I keep praying and asking God to help me deal with me. I know I have to take this one day at a time but I need a breakthrough!

 

If you read this cazy vent please say a prayer for me. I know that prayer works and I have faith that I’ll pull through this rut of frustration.



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I feel your pain and will say a prayer for you as I am on day 11 and know JUST how you are feeling. I said those very words to my husband today..."I've never been concerned about eating to live"! I just want to eat and worry about everything else in my life. The sleeve forces you to focus on nothing but "it" when you first get it. Christmas is coming up and my life is out of sorts. I don't have the energy to deal with it all. I wish I could eat protein drinks and yogurt! They gag me...now what?!?!? I need a tiny 60mg protein pill to take everyday....dissolvable pill that is! lol

We will get through this and this will pass soon enough and all of these feelings will be a distant memory that we share with the up and coming newbies...I know we shouldn't wish our life away...but I'm looking darn forward to being at least 1 month out!

Blessings!

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It's so funny to hear you guys say the same things I have been thinking. While I am past the pureed stage, I still wish I could just take a protein pill and not have to worry about this.

Just this morning I was asking myself-When will I get to the point where my whole life isn't wrapped up with food? I thought I had an obsession with food before, it seems worse now. Counting every gram of protein (I refuse to count carbs!)-every ounce of liquid. Worrying if I will get dehydrated or if my hair will fall out because I haven't met either goal even once.

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Hang in there. You guys are doing great. It does get so much better. I was almost 2 months in before I managed to hit my protein and water goals. Protein shakes ended up helping me a lot.

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DebiC, I haven't even hit the point where I can manage to care if my hair falls out. I'm 3 days out and just want the pain to stop. I've been on clear liquids up until today. I'm getting ready to sip my first three ounces of shake. It is so weird to have no interest in food whatsoever. Before surgery I could always eat something, especially if it was being offered. Now I have to force myself to put anything ot my lips.

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It is a natural reaction for women to want to take care of everyone first but I am sick of it. I am only 3 wks out and I WANT to take care of myself! If I don't, I will be dead. My husband and daughter are doing just fine. It is us that put a lot of pressure on ourselves. I'm important too. This is my time. I don't want to be the old me EVER!

I hope you feel better and figure out a good balance.

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You said the only way you ever lost enough weight to be healthy was not to pay attention to what you ate? If you were at a healthy weight you would not have had the surgery. Please be cautious about what you let slip in that would make it ok - or would have used to - because it didn't.

Your students are going to live. Unless you were growing someone a new kidney in lab NOTHING they will go without compares to what you stand to lose. Most of us here have a history or putting others first, and allowing ourselves to fall behind. It is a part of the frustrations and bad habits that have contributed to our morbid obesity. It isn't a chore for you to have this step - and it isn't a step - modified eating is for the rest of your life. For you to succeed, you need to get used to taking care of yourself. LIKE IT! lol!

There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first. You can actually do more when you do so. I have been learning this lesson, and looking back am surprised I never figured it out sooner. That is a part of the issue, I guess -

Good luck and God bless!

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The best way to help your students is to let them help you learn. You must pray for yourself 1st, take time to heal and then focus outward again.

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The beginning stages are hard. Hang in there. Things do get better. They WILL get better.

You NEED to put yourself first. You just had a major operation. The last thing anyone wants is for you to not take care of yourself and for you to have complications. Plus you need to put yourself first so that you can be successful with your weight loss.

I am not a doctor. But it may be easier for you to focus on portion sizes and not on grams of protein. For my plan I only eat 2 oz of protein 3x a day. No snacking, no shakes, no calorie counting, no protein gram counting. Like I said, I'm not a doctor, but trying a different way of eating may make your life easier. Every plan is different. I do believe you have to find what works for you and is within healthy guidelines for this surgery.

The beginning stages of eating really just plain suck. Once you're on soft solids and then regular solids things get so much easier. You have to go through all the crappy stages to allow your sleeve to heal and get used to eating again. It's almost like relearning to eat. The doctors don't make us do this to torture us.

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I just read all of your comments today. You guys rock! I really appreciate the encouragement. I hope and pray the best for each of you on your journeys! XOXO

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It's been exactly 3 wks and I have more acid and nausea than I did afte 3 days. I'm not even going to mention the being tiered. If I could get over the first two maybe I wouldn't feel so tiered.

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