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Ahh It's The Ex!

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LUCYCAT

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I was in a relationship for what felt like forever. I thought we were happy. I decided I wanted to have VSG surgery and it was like flipping a switch. My boyfriend slowly freaked out on me. He started telling me about all these guys he knew who’s wives had WLS and then ran off with some other man.

 

He started losing weight like crazy. He started walking every day- but not with me. Actually, he seemed to arrange for me to have something to do every evening so I couldn’t walk.

 

He bought a new red sports car. He started dressing different. He did everything but tattoo “Mid-Life Crisis” on his forehead…but it was kinda gimme.

 

One day he tells me that he loves me and is very thankful that I am a part of his life. 5 days later he dumps me. He says he no longer feels a “spark”. The timing was awesome. Just a few scant weeks before my surgery.

 

We haven’t spoken since. I haven’t seen him.

 

Flash forward a few months. I have lost 62 pounds since the start of the year and 47 pounds since surgery. I am below 200 pounds for the first time in nearly a decade.

 

I walk every evening at a local church gym. I have noticed that his name has started to appear on the sign in sheet. It keeps getting closer and closer to the time that I walk. Yesterday, if I hadn’t stopped at the Goodwill on my way to go walking, I would have run into him and his teenage daughter.

 

I do not want to set eyes upon this man in all the rest of my days. I also do not want to give up my walking location. My walk has become the best part of my day. This local gym is not very crowded and it is right on my way home. It is, however, about 30 min away from my ex-boyfriends house. He has to go out of his way to walk at this gym.

 

I realize that it is probably just morbid curiosity on his part. We have mutual friends. Those friends have started to notice I have lost weight and have started making comments about it. Those friends KNOW I go walking at this gym every night.

 

I have no idea what I will do if I bump into him. I would like to just give him the stink eye and keep walking….but I am not sure that would be socially appropriate with his teenage daughter standing beside him.

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Take the high road, if you run into him be pleasant. Be sure to be happier than when you last seem him lol.

Do not leave the place YOU ENJOY! He is doing it because he is curious or regrets his decision. That attitude gives him more reason to realize what a mistake he has made. Keep your head up smile (have some earphones in, mp3 maybe) and most importantly...... keep walking.

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It sounds like he was trying to control you during your relationship. Defintely DO NOT let him have control now. Keep walking, keep smiling and when you do see him, be pleasant and say hi but nothing says you have to give him any information about your life. He lost that right to know what is going on with you when he left. Keep walking and never look back!

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Sounds like he is wondering if he made the right decision. Perhaps from what he was saying prior he truly thought he would lose you after WLS so he decided to leave you before that could happen. Not rationalizing this but just trying to explain the male mind... Now, he is hearing how much you have lost and how great you feel and he is second-guessing his decision. Well, tough luck for him. You deserve someone that will stay by your side no matter what and not run at the first hint of change. Keep going to your gym, smile and be pleasant and definitely keep the ear buds in. Talk casually but definitely don't hang around long. He will eventually get the message that you are not interested and will get uncomfortable and stop coming to the gym.

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Putting all the advice aside......... it sure does feel good though doesn't it? lol..like........ "look at me now"

.

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Haven't run into him yet. In a way it feels good to have lost this much. In a way it feels weird. I remember this weight being smaller- and not so old. lol I was hoping that I would look really good by the time I ran into him again.

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You should comment to your mutual friends that you've begun walking at a different location...maybe he will hear and start going to the other location looking for you, lol.

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