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I owe you what???

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NikiS

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Whew... there is so much going on in my life right now, I really don't know where to begin. Guess I'll start with the latest change of events...

 

I have/had a friend at work that I chatted with throughout my work day and went to lunch with daily. Not often, but a handful of times we interacted outside of work (I'd invite her son to my son's birthday party, an invitation to a cookout, etc.) Anyway, two weeks ago (11/4), my job suffered a tragic loss when one of our partners passed away unexpectedly. As a result, the office closed early and she and I didn't have a chance to really talk.

 

Fast forward to last week (11/7), I assumed she wasn't in the office because I hadn't seen or heard from her. Our late partner's funeral was 11/8, and she knew him well as they worked on the same floor. I called to check on her the following day and got super shot, snappy answers to my questions. I'm thinking... ok she needs some time. So here we are, into another week when everything comes to light.

 

Yes, Ole Girl was upset about the passing of such a wonderful man, but the reason she's not speaking to me is because I didn't tell her about my surgery - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! As of today I've lost 40 lbs and my co-workers have been paying me compliments. Well she tells a few of them she knows I've had something done and she thought we were better than that and the least I could do was tell her if I'm on diet pills, had surgery, etc. When a co-worker asked her if her feelings were hurt she said no, she upset because I owe her an explanation and until I tell her what the deal is she doesn't have anything to say to me. Really?! She's upset because I didn't tell her my business.

 

I don't mean to be so cavalier about it but... oh well... guess we just won't be talking. Admittedly, for a little bit I was in a state of you've-got-to-be-kidding. However, as time passed, so did that feeling.

 

I owe her an explanation?!? Really?!? WOW!!

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Please!! You don't owe her anything!! The nerve!!! If anyone should be explaining and apologizing, it should be her!!!

Congrats and keep up the good work!!!

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I have a co-worker that I am close to and have not told. I have someone I consider a step-mom that I have not told. I do not think I owe anybody exclusive information on my life unless I am led to. They should all respect that. Obviously your health and well-being is not of concern here...just her feelings. She will be ok and so will you. Keep focus on your goals...

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When people tend to act like that they generally act like that no matter what you do or do not choose to tell. What I mean is if you shared, you might of had a negitve reaction anyway. Obviously she is one that is put off easily.

It is not like you are sisters or forever friends, where not that it is right but her hostility would make more sense.

Pray for her and enjoy your new you! lol

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It isn’t easy coming out of the closet “so to speak”. When I decided to do the gastric sleeve the only two people who knew were my husband and daughter. It was the shame I felt to tell anyone else. The guilt I felt inside that I wasn’t able to take the weight off on my own. Recently, I ran into an old friend. Looking at me she said “Maddy you have lost so much weight how you did it?” I have to admit; I actually hesitated for a moment...and said nothing. Later, I thought to myself why did I hesitate to tell her? The only thing that came to mind was the simple word “fear”.

Why do we feel the need to hide our decision to have bariatric surgery? Is it because of low self esteem? The urgency of keep this big dark secret private or is it due to the way society sees fat people? We live with the constant advertising campaigns flashing thin stick models while we the “fat people” struggle to keep the scale from tipping. The dying “to be thin attitude”. The Taboo word “bariatric” does not fit into this world… until now. Today, we have the means to achieve weight goals we never had before. Folks like me who have battled the scale for years now have alternatives. So why hide this amazing news?

This week I did just that. I told my folks about my gastric sleeve. To my amazement they were supportive and very happy I took this journey. I cannot express to you how important it is to have family and friends to support you during your life changing weight loss. And it is indeed both mentally and physically a change. I now talk openly and candidly about my surgery. What amazing changes that has occurred over the last 5 months. Today, I am no longer on any medications to help me control my sugar, cholesterol or blood pressure. A MAJOR milestone in my life.

I blog and chat with other people who have gone through bariatric surgery. I did an online survey asking three questions… how many people have you told? Did you tell your friends? Have you told your family? To my amazement, 73% told less than 5 people, 76% did not tell their friends and more than 79% did not tell their family. Its sad that we feel the need to hide from this. Today, bariatric surgery is a useful necessity for those like me who just could not lose the weight. It’s time we stood up and made our voices heard that bariatric surgery is no longer a shameful procedure and see it as an amazing tool to good health.

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You don't "owe" anyone an explanation about your personal, medical history! Although I have told many people about my surgery, I didn't tell my mother. I knew that it would worry her to death. She is 90 years old, and although very healthy (still in her own home) she would worry about it. So I just told her I am trying to lose weight and am doing it with portion control and exercise. And guess what? That is THE TRUTH! I can't eat as much now, since my sleeve, so I am controlling my portions! And I exercise more to facilitate my weight loss. So when anyone asks me how I am loosing, and I don't feel like telling them all the details, I say "portion control and exercise"!

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