So I am apologizing now for those of you who haven't watched the Biggest Loser episode for this week, but I’m just going to mention a few things. I got a total wakeup call this week watching the show. Time and time again I’ve used my weight to give people pleasure. I love to make people laugh and have always had a great sense of humor, and what better way to get past the uncomfortable awkwardness of being fat than to make people laugh about it, right!?

So this week on Biggest Loser, Vinnie, pulls his stomach out of his shirt and starts using his belly button as a mouth and calls his stomach Cecil. He jiggles it around, makes everyone laugh, EXCEPT for Dolvett his trainer.

I have found myself in some similar situation. No I don’t whip my stomach out and start talking with it, but I make funny jokes about my back fat, and rolls, and big thighs. EVERYONE GETS A GOOD LAUGH. But am I really laughing inside? Or am I actually crying inside.

You should’ve seen the faces they were showing on Dolvett, he was not happy at all. On his side interview he expressed how UNFUNNY being fat was. And made some very interesting points. Honestly I can’t remember which examples he actually used, so I’ll use my own. If it was Luekemia, would you laugh and make jokes? What about colon cancer, or MS?

Being fat is no laughing matter! So why do we do this to ourselves. Why do we try to ease our pain with jokes? Why do we laugh at other fat jokes that other people tell, far or skinny. AND YES I am going to use the word fat, and if you get offended I’m sorry. Why don’t we stick up for ourselves!!!!! Tell people it’s not funny! Tell ourselves it’s NOT funny!

We don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable, or change the mood cause we are hanging out with friends and it would make things awkward. Well you know what, FAT JOKES MAKE ME FEEL AWKWARD. Every time I hear this line I cringe “hahaha no she was big, like 300lbs big”. THAT’S ME!!!! Why do we go along with it, like the weight is not there. Like the health problems are not there. And trust me honey if you don’t have any, you will soon enough.

I get it people! I really do, sometimes it is funny to laugh about things, AT FIRST. Prime Example: A few years ago I went to an Amusement Park. I watched a slightly heavy girl get on a ride. She sat in the seat, and I watched at this ride operator tried to almost break her ribs to get the clap to shut. I laughed, saying under my breath “just stop and get off”. You could see the guy was trying his hardest and so was she to suck it in. All in all, it was funny AT THAT TIME. Until I realized I would NEVER want to be in that type of situation. Can you imagine the humiliation she felt? And everyone around her was thinking the same thing, she was too fat to ride the ride. In the end there was nothing funny about that AT ALL.

So what are we afraid of? Why are we scared to say “I’m not comfortable with my weight”. For me, it’s because of my number one fear. I say I’m offended by those words and someone actually saying to, WHY NOT DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? What will my answer be? How will I handle that question? Am I really doing everything in my power to change it, or am I making excuses.

Nothing about being fat is comfortable. But we deal! But one thing I believe we should do is take more pride in ourselves. No being obese is not a good thing, but we are doing everything in our power not be healthy! Let’s change it, let’s do something about it and stop laughing at it!

I had a talk with my sister the other day. We get along great but we are like oil and water, lol! We are both big girls. Have been for most of our teenage and adult lives. I’ve NEVER been okay being fat. But her she was fine. She said big and happy, until she got stroked out! She literally had a stroke at 30 yrs old (a mini stroke, but a STROKE!). She couldn’t believe it, and neither could I.

What’s funny about that? I thought about what Dolvett said and it hit me hard. I have very few big girls or guys as friends. But the ones I do have, let me tell you we just laugh it up sometimes. And I finally realized this week, being fat really isn’t funny.