I have been trying for years to change my lifestyle for the better. I absolutely love my family and would like to be around for them as long as possible. I have been making small changes for years (being more active, eating healthy) and trying to instill those habits on my kiddo. I decided to go ahead and get the VSG surgery and have finally been approved. How ironic would it be for me to go through a major surgery to help my health, yet continue to smoke? I quit back in June and have been on and off since. After about 6 weeks, I had put on so much weight I broke. Now that I have been approved, I can't use weight as an excuse, because the surgery will help me with this. However, I had an epiphany today. As I sit here (still wanting a cigarette) I am thinking about my future. I am thinking about graduate school next fall, the surgery, my family, even retirement plans. I realized that smoking doesn't fit into any of that anywhere. Yeah, its a great instant stress relief. I can find something else for that can't I? When I initially quit, I had the thought that I would get to go back once my surgery is healed. Why? Why would I do that? I want to live a healthier lifestyle overall. While I am not saying that I am perfect at it, why not go for it? I feel like I have done an injustice to my son. I have a ton of terrible habits and I have this picture of how I would like to be. Here I am, almost 32 and it is a daily fight to live the life I have thought about for more than a decade. Had I been raised prioritizing time for myself, maybe this wouldn't be such a struggle. I am already lucky that I quickly get addicted to exercise. Many people hate it daily, yet still do it because they want the benefits of a good workout. Had this been taught to me young, it would just be an ingrained thing that I do. Think about it, when you were learning to brush your teeth, did you want to do it? NO! Mom had to fight to make sure that not only did you do it, but you did a good job. Now as an adult, can you imagine leaving your house without brushing your teeth? Yuck right? Its the same with working out and living healthy. My son will already turn down cake for a big bowl of Lima beans. (okay, so once the beans are gone he will come back for the cake, but that's not the point). That is a big victory, made by small changes. One generation, literally holds in their hands the opportunity to shape the direction of an entire genetic lineage. If my son learns to never leave the house, exersize and becomes a smoker, he is likely to meet a girl with the same outlook on life. They live in their happy little, early death comfort zone and at some point, may even have kids. Do they then change everything they ever learned so that they can raise their kids right? Do they then have to suffer through what my husband and I are doing at the moment? They could, (after all, we are) or more likely, they stay in their comfort zone and teach the habits to my grand kids by example. They could be geniuses mentally, but maybe the grandkids get so big they can't walk a mile? What if there is a natural disaster? My entire lineage dies because they are too broken or weak to get away when a little physical activity could have saved their life. Also, lets say this unhealthy lifestyle continues. People who live unhealthy, tend to attract like minded people. This weakens our families genetics overall and my great great grand-kids start dying young of diabetes etc. Within 150 years my entire genetic lineage could no longer exist. Lets be honest, any of these things could happen even if my husband and I make huge lifestyle changes. My son could decide that he doesn't want to die young like his unhealthy parents and starts making some big changes. This is a possibility as well. Now, as crazy and paranoid as this seems, look at my logic here. The best way to describe it is by referring to a movie called idiocracy. If you haven't seen it, IMDB the summary, its an interesting premise. What I described is the potential for physiological idiocracy. At a bare minimum, I am more likely to be around longer with my family and have much more quality time. Then I have to ask myself, even if what I said is not the least bit logical, where do cigarettes fit in? What are the pros and cons? I can only think of one pro, yeah its a big one, but it doesn't outweigh all the cons. So in the end, smoking works against my families evolution. If I continue to smoke, I am actually choosing to lose the game of survival of the fittest for myself and my progeny. If I can get moving and start here, (biggest issue first) the ball will just keep rolling and I can slowly add the rest of the things that make for a healthy active adult lifestyle.