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Bad Bedside Manner....Having Second Thoughts

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Sweet Toni

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So i had my consultation yesterday. It didn't go like i planned AT ALL. When I left I felt like i wanted to cry because i was so disatisfied and i guess my feelings were a bit hurt. I've been super nervous about this decision of having WLS. My coworker is going through the same process, same doctors office (different surgeon). She told me how her experience was GREAT! She felt great leaving her appointment. The doctor didn't make her feel rushed as she was asking questions and she felt very comfortable with him. So i figured my experience would be about the same.

 

Let me just say this, the center where i will be having my surgery is a center of excellence and well known throughout california. They perform hundreds of WLS surgeries a year and i am confident in their practice. Saying that, my doctor has BAD BEDSIDE MANNER. I say that because my consultation was NOTHING near the experience i thought it was going to be. I thought i was going to come out of that appointment feeling more positive about my experience and decision. And well i didn't, i almost left in tears.

 

So i am a person who wants answer. If i am nervous about anything i want details on how things are supposed to go and what i am and what you are going to be doing. So i had a TON of questions, yes written down and ready to go! Yes i can read blogs, forums, and information articles all day long but there's nothing like hearing it from the horses mouth.

 

I have a feeling i intimidated him. I'm quite sure he's never had anyone with this amount of questions. BUT I WANTED TO KNOW PEOPLE! So by the time i got through about 15 questions, you could tell he was getting frustrating. Crossed his legs, folded his arms, leaned back, and i just thought REALLY DUDE, THIS IS MY LIFE HERE? As soon as i flipped the page for another set of questions he has this shocked look and asks me "more?". YES I HAVE MORE! By that time i had gotten to nutritional questions, which he had suggested i take one of their 4 hour nutritional classes that they provide (not a bad idea). He clapped his hands at me, told me we needed to hurry it along, he had more patients to see. Umm it was almost 430pm and the office closed at 5pm. Hmmmmm i just had a hard time believing that, BUT maybe he did. So i skipped those and asked him a couple more out of spite. But they were honestly questions i wanted answers to, FROM A DOCTORS OPINION, i.e. "when can i start vigorously exercising?" ( i have a personal trainer so i REALLY needed to know).

 

So after that, i shut down. I was just disappointed. It wasn't a comforting appointment. You know? I didn't feel like he was EXCITED to be helping into the next stage of my life. Yes i know its not going to be a piece of cake, i know there are going to be major struggles but the last thing i thought would make me want to rethink having surgery is having a doctor who was sensative enough. Maybe i'm just being extra sensative. I've been really praying and thinking about this process. Making sure i am making the right decision. And i just thought going to this appointment would affirm my decision to have WLS and the sleeve inparticular.

 

Dont get me wrong, he answered some important questions for me and i believe he knows how to do his job. He just doesn't have very good bedside manner. Not that sensitive or comforting, you know? I don't wanna change doctors just because i feel like he doesnt have tact but i want to have a good experience going into this process. I want to have a good feeling about it. And i left out of that office feeling down, disappointed and like i had more anxiety than when i went in.

 

Has anyone every had this happen? What did you do? For me, for now I am going to just keep praying. I believe that God will take me through. Whether i have surgery or not, i believe everything will be alright. I just wish i had a better feeling.....maybe it will come. Maybe the next appointment will be better. Maybe next appointment i will tell DR G how he made me feel last appointment or maybe i'll be a coward and say nothing. I know things are really not that bad, but i hope they get better and i start feeling better about this whole process.

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You're right...this is our LIVES and it is their JOB...we are talking about! And I would have told him that! One takes presidence over the other by far! GRRR! Doctor's like that should not be on practice. It is never to late to switch surgeons! I would consider that...even it it meant that my surgery date was delayed. Again...remember this is your LIFE! The last thing any of us wants is a surgeon who is in a hurry...that is when mistakes are made!

I hope everything works out well for you...and if you use him...LET HIM HAVE IT! He needs to know how you feel before he touches you!

I am so blessed to have a amazing surgeon...which was recommended by my amazing cardiologist! Both, doctors really take their time to listen and talk about whatever it is that is important to me! This is priceless and it gives me (the patient) added security!

You're in my prayers! :D

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As a healthcare provider, I can tell you surgeons in general are notorious for having bad bedside manner, so keep that in mind. That being said, you should use someone you are comfortable with and who will answer your questions and put you at ease when you have concerns. Most WLS offer free seminars. I don't know how far along in the process you are, but maybe you should attend some at other clinics until you find a good match. My insurance would only pay for me to use a surgeon and hospital recognized as a bariatric surgeon/center of excellence. You might check into credentials such as these. The recognition is based on outcomes and patient feedback. Good luck.

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I picked a hot surgeon and THAT helped........

seriously though, if you were asking the same question 19 different ways I would get frustrated as well. Or if you were just looking for guarantees how would you expect him to give you that? But if it was more information that you wanted and hadn't gotten from the seminar or support groups, maybe you should switch surgeons? I would think if you stay within the same group it wouldn't re-start the process......

I hope it goes better for you from here on out :)

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Well i definitely wasn't asking the same questions in a different way. I had valid questions. Me and my coworker even went through them together. Trust me, she is very informed, questions that she got answered I didn't even ask. But questions that both her and i wanted to know, i asked! I've been through seminars, and to a nutritionist. ALL the required steps. I'll give you an example of questions i had

1. How long have you been performing bariatric srugery?

2. How long have you been performing the sleeve surgery?

3. How large of a bougie does your practice use?

4. Is there a standard size that the sleeve will be?

And so on... questions I feel that no one else could answer (maybe) for me other than the surgeon. The practice is a center of excellence. The doctors are well known. I'm not concerned that they don't know how to do their job. They do it well and i've known plenty of people who have gone through this office and are fine. This doctor inparticular is the newest of the doctors on staff. So maybe he doesn't have it down yet. The other 2 doctors have been on staff for YEARS! But i highly doubt they would bring someone on who wasn't on the same level that they were. So its just like AMANDARN said most surgeons have bad bedside manner. It just sucks that it had to be mine and he rushed me the way he did. Like i said, im going to keep on praying and asking God for guidance. hopefully things will work out.

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