A New Beginning
My name is Gina, I'm 37 years old, and I've been approved for surgery, yay! I will be having the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy on November 3, 2011 at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco. I have been "morbidly obese" for awhile now. My struggle with weight problems has occurred since I was about 25 years old. From about the time I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 22, I felt that I was destined to gain weight. I was extremely fatigued despite the medication I started taking, which is now a very high dose of Synthroid ... 0.275 mg to be exact.
I'm 5 feet tall and I weigh 218 lbs. My BMI is 42. I wasn't overweight while growing up, and this is the first time I've weighed this much. In fact, I was very petite growing up. I don't mean to sound cavelier but I am not used to being fat, and boy, do I look and feel like fat. I wouldn't say that I'm ashamed of myself but I do feel very embarrassed, have a low self esteem, little to no confidence, and sometimes depressed over the way I look and feel. Maybe I am ashamed ... well at least I'm not just sitting back. I'm doing something about my health once and for all.
My husband loves me no matter what, although I can't say that I am 100% sure he is still sexually attracted to me (he says he still is). It's hard to gauge our sex life because we have a 2 1/2 year old son, and he still sleeps in our bed! Well, we have our opportunities but when you are overweight and unhealthy, you don't feel sexy. At least I don't. I sometimes hide myself behind a towel after I get out of the shower because I don't want him to see my stomach. My tummy is embarrassingly bigger than when we first met 8 years ago. I know he loves me but I want to feel sexy again.
My family has been totally supportive of my decision. My friends have also been supportive! I haven't gone around town telling everyone I know about the surgery because I believe everything has its place & time, but I can't wait to show off the results! Part of me sometimes feels that this surgery isn't going to happen, like it's too good to be true. I must say though, on September 9, 2011, I found out I was approved by the insurance company for surgery. I was ecstatic!! I still am pinching myself to make sure it's really going to happen. The reason why I feel like this is so easy to explain...
Every year, especially upon making my New Year's resolutions, I say, "this is the year that I'm going to lose weight and be thin!" I fully intend to go through with his plan, and I join a gym, go walking, and eat healthier, but somewhere between chilly weather and laziness, I give up. I hate giving up. Why is it that I only give up on myself but not others? I didn't feel it was very fair to myself. Around May 2010, I spoke to my endocrinologist about being so unhappy because of my weight. I told her that I desperately needed a solution. She prescribed Meridia. By early October, I had lost 23 lbs. I started to give away my clothes; I was sooo happy! Then by my mid October, my doctor's office called to tell me that the FDA had recalled the drug. All of a sudden, the depression kicked in. I thought it was hopeless. I thought I would be fat forever.
I gained back all of that 23 lbs. One day when I was twiddling my thumbs, I remembered there were such surgeries that existed like the Gastric Bypass or the Lap-Band procedure. (At this point, I had never heard of the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy.) So I inquired about the Lap-Band when I saw my endocrinologist in May 2011. She thought it was a good idea, and referred me to Dr. Gregg Jossart. Luckily, he shares the same office space so it made my life easier. As required, I went to a support group, learned about the various bariatric surgeries, and got to listen to people who had bariatric surgery. I felt inspired! I met with Dr. Jossart on June 21, 2011 and he said I am a great candidate for the Gastric Sleeve. After meeting with the psychologist and the dietitician several times, they sent their reports to Dr. Jossart's office. After two weeks of waiting, I found out the good news.
So I hope you will follow me on this journey! I promise to give as many details as possible. Thanks for reading!
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