I thought I would blog my journey so others could know what I went through and maybe it will be helpful to someone.

Background info:

I am 5'4" tall and 43 years old.

I was sort of thick in high school. Not fat really but my thighs were a little heavy and I wore a size 9 to 11 jeans. I remember this well. I was a cheerleader and was the biggest one. In college, I lost a lot of weight because I was the mascot of my college and it is really hot in the suit! I was a size 5 then, for about 2 years or so. I joined the army and gained a little weight. I was back in a 9 or 11 for the next couple years. Then I got married and got pregnant. That was the beginning of the end. I gained 80 pounds with him and he was premature! I never lost all the weight. I was 210pounds when he was born. I got back to 175 and stayed there for a year. Then my second pregancy.... gained back to 210 and lost only to 190 the next year. I joined weight watchers in 1995 for the first time. It was an at work program. I lost 12 pounds over the summer and continued to loose til I got to 163. I thought I was done with weight watchers and quit. I was a perfect size 12 for two or three years (continuinig to go to WW later on). I was pretty happy with that. Then came my daughter. I gained back to 215. I lost some of that after her birth but was hovering around 200 for a year or so. I did WW again to try to loose the weight. I got a divorce soon after she was born and I managed to loose back to 170 but that is as far as I got. Then, I slowly gained and was in the 180's for several years. I did WW again and I lost 20 pounds or so and got back to 170. I did this 170 to 190 and back again about 3 more times in 5 years. In 2007, I met my husband and I weighed 170, still at weight watchers. We married in September and you guessed it, back to 190 before the wedding and had to get my dress let out! I felt very frustrated. We wanted to have children so I had a tubal reversal in December of 2007. I took a lot of hormones trying to conceive. I balooned up to 220. I tried WW again and lost 10 or 12 pounds. I couldnt seem to get under 200. Then I had a job transfer and moved all the way to Texas from Alabama. It was a huge stresser on our family to move from a house to an apartment. Nobody was happy about the move. My kids were mad and I couldnt sell our house. It took 9 months and we finally did sell it and buy a nice home here. During all of this, I gained to 235. My highest weight. My husband was not "particularly attracted" to me anymore and it left me in the worse depression I have ever experienced. He was heavy too and so I pointed that out and we both did WW for 6 months or so. He reached his goal in that time, loosing 60 pounds and I lost down to 210. I was depressed because it was just falling off of him and I was eating much less and not loosing very much at all. I gained it all back. We planned a trip to Brazil to see my exchange student get married. I had 6 months to loose some weight. I considered wls then in fall of 2010. I felt I could do the supervised diet and then have surgery when I returned in March. I did the diet and took the HCG and B12 shots every week until we left. I lost 20 pounds. I weighed about 215 when we left. I returned two weeks later at 230. I consulted a surgeon about wls again and I didnt like the staff at that Dr.s office. The medical assistants as they are called could not even spell and could not hold an intelligent conversation so I didnt feel I was in good hands. I gave up on that in May 2011. My husband got a new teaching job in July, his first since being in Texas! We were changing insurance in August. So July 29th, I decided to see if Humana was going to cover wls and what type of diet and stuff was I going to have to do to get it done. I saw that the surgeon my friend recommended to me was having a seminar the next day (Saturday, July 30th) and so I signed up. My husband and I went. We met nice people and I decided I wanted the sleeve. Its the same one I decided on the year before, but didnt follow through on. I made an appointment for Monday, August 1. Humana didnt cover the sleeve unless you have a bmi of 50 and mine was 40.2 so we were going to be self pay. We decided to get it over with before school started and scheduled the surgery for the NEXT Monday at 8 am. Wow! I had a date already! I went on a one week preop diet and lost 9 pounds. I was 225 when I had the surgery. I went back to work the following Monday. I was just weak and tired but not much pain or anything. I had a little trouble getting in the required fluids.

Next chapter--

At the begining of my third week post op I developed a kidney stone because I was dehydrated. I was hospitalized for 5 days and had another surgery on my kidney to place a stent. I gained a lot of weight from the fluid they gave me. I got the stent removed last Wednesday and I am finally, at 5 weeks out, starting to feel like my old self again. I started walking this week and doing a little weight training. To date... I have lost 27 pounds. I weighed 206.9 this morning. Thats lower than I have been since the trying to conceive days about 3 or 4 years ago. I am doing better about drinking but have not reached 64 oz on any day yet.

So in Summary:

I have been a yo-yo dieter for 20 years and havent been under 170 in about 14 years. I want to be my college weight of about 135 pounds, a size 6. I could stand to be 125 but that is getting a little thin for my build. It has been forever but I at least have a reference point. I can visualize that but I still have a hard time believing that any thing will work to get me there. I am scared to believe that this is finally it for me! I hope I can do this and maintain it for my lifetime. At my highest weight, my feet and back ached all the time, I cant tie my shoes right. It hurts to lean over. I am miserably tired and have no energy to do anything. I starting thinking in terms of how far do I have to walk and are there any hills to climb before I would decide If I wanted to go to the zoo or any activity with my family. I was not living. I was slowly dying. I had to make a change for good. I am sorry this story is so long but I wanted to get it all out there. The truth, the facts... my story.