I'm in the very early stages of VSG. I started by speaking to my PCP about my weight and he referred me to a great bariatric surgeon. My interaction so far with the surgeon and his office has been great. Ben from his office took plenty of time to walk me through the process, give potential timelines and direct me to places to look for all WLS options. I then spoke to the surgeon over the phone (a consulatation which was free) and he determined that I was a good candidate to take the next step. Ben then told me that my health insurance is one of the easiest to work with (finges crossed). My next step is the seminar which is scheduled for tomorrow and then my 1 on 1 meeting with the surgeon. I have an enormous list of questions ... yes, I guess I'm one of those patients.

I've spend HOURS and I do mean HOURS online doing research. For me, I think the VSG is the right option. This forum has also been a great source of first hand information. I've read about people having "buyers remorse" immediately following surgery and then later realizing it's the best thing that they've done for themselves. I like reading stuff like that because it let's me know what to expect. I've read about the struggles and learned that there is a difference between stomach hunger and head hunger. I've learned that I may feel the need to mourn food or rather "volumes of food" and so so much more. More than anything I think the support here is wonderful.

My "weight" issues are probably not unique. I am 1 of 3 kids and was never overweight as a child but I look back at pictures and I had more meat on me than my brother or sister ever did. At 17 I was diagnosed with Idopathic Intracranial Hypertension (produce too much spinal fluid). One of the treatment options was a super high dose of anabolic steriods for a long period of time. Yuck. I often wonder what the long term effects of that are and if it has anything to do with my weight now. From that point on I've really struggled. I'm Queen Yo-Yo Diet-er! I can loose weight ... problem is, I always gain it back and more and more and more. I'm SOOOOOO tired of my weight being the first thing I think about when I wake up, on my mind all day and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night. I'm so tired of the struggle and the fight and feeling like a failure. Why is it that I cand have so much success in my life but I can't conquer my weight problem?????? Frustrating. I have a garage filled with bins of clothes from size 4 to size 22, that's not normal. Why throw them away when I keep going up and down. It's ridiculous.

I'm worried about my long term health, I'm worried about diabetes, heart failure, joint problems and mostly a shorter life filled with medical issues and pain and a pharmacy of pills (I can see all of that in my future).

I've finally accepted that I can't do this all alone. I need help. I'm willing to put in the work required to change my diet and the way I eat and drink, I just want a little bit of help so I don't feel like I'm crawling up such a steep mountain all by myself.

I don't want this to sound so sad but I wanted to get these thoughts and feelings out now. I think it will be interesting to look back on.