The time has come to return to work and today is my first day back. I was pleasantly surprised that the pair of pants I picked out to wear did not fit. They slid off of me. A great start to the day!!

I wasn't sure what to expect when I got off the elevator this morning. I was surprisingly eager to come back to the office, as it is one step closer to returning to a normal life. I told a few co-workers in confidence about my surgery before I left, and I knew they would be supportive after. Most others knew I had surgery but did not know anything specific.

What I was interested to see the most was what would be everyone's reaction. I have lost 30 pounds (15 pre-op, 15 post-op) so there is a noticable difference in my appearance. For the most part, the reaction was "You look good!" but nothing specific about weight loss. I was happy with that response.

What is almost funny to me is the different reaction a man vs. a woman has to the news of my bariatric surgery. I knew it was time to tell my boss and team leader, both of whom are men. When I checked in the office while I was still home recovering, I told them both the reason for my surgery. Their reaction was the same "Well..Oh, Great. Ok...". In other words, they didn't know what to say. I understand that it's a sensitive subject - addressing the need for bariatric surgey would also bring up the issue of being overweight, obese, etc. Given the sensitivity of the issue, avoidance was their plan of attack. Even though they didn't know how to respond, I'm glad I told them the whole story.

I was asked to go out to lunch today by coworkers to catch up. I knew this would be a big hurdle for me. I work in between Little Italy and Harbor East in the city of Baltimore. On top of the best Italian (er..carb loaded) places, we are also fortunate to have Indian, American, Mexican, Irish, etc.. You name it and I can walk to it and get it. Since I'm still on pureed foods, I knew it was not smart for me to go out to eat, even if it was for soup. Until I get back on a full diet again, I cannot tempt myself with the variety of food options available to me. I understand that I WILL eventually go out to lunch again. It's part of the journey - learning how to handle food in almost any situation, including eating out. But for now, I played it safe and stuck with my brought in lunch.

When I warmed up my lunch, I could tell those who knew I had bariatric surgery was curious what I was eating (3 oz. of blended tuna steak). Many don't know what someone who has had bariatric surgery can and cannot eat. I do not mistake curiosity with being nosy or insensitive. Most people do not know someone who has had bariatric surgery, and even if they do they may have not sat down and had a meal with them. So in a way, it's important to show those who do not know much about the weight loss surgery journey what it is all about. I do not use the words "role modle for bariatric surgery" though. That would impose too much pressure on me and indicate that mistakes are not possible. We will all fall (and get back up again) during this journey.

The best part of my first day back is that I can walk down the hall of my office with my head held a little higher than when I left. I still have a while to go, and more weight to lose, but I've started and I'm going in the right direction. People noticed. But more importantly I NOTICED and that's better satisfaction than a plate full of spaghetti and meatballs.