The ups and the downs...
I am 5 weeks out from my surgery tomorrow. It really has been a challenging but rewarding experience and I do not regret having the surgery. I am finally eating pretty normally for a sleever and that has led to immense satisfaction compared to the liquids. I have been struggling with depression though. I understand this is pretty normal. Any other time I would have been thrilled with a 27 pound loss in a month; I find my enthusiasm over my accomplishment lukewarm at best. I think it is all related to losing food as an emotional bandaid. I knew this COULD happen but never thought it WOULD happen to me. I am getting better every day though. I have found exercise is helping and I know with time my mental dependency on food to release the feel good juice in my body will go away; I look forward to the day when food is merely fuel in my eyes. I am happy that I am at the point where people can really tell I am losing and pretty fast. My MIL saw me for the first time since day 7 postop yesterday and she was pleasantly surprised. It felt good to hear praise like that. It also feels good to be wearing clothes that have been too small for months. The only thing I feel like I haven't really figured out is issues with consitpation. Was taking MOM every other day but my surgeon wanted me to switch to Benefiber. I have but nothing is happening. Guess I will try Miralax daily maybe. I don't know yet. Overall, this has been a good thing in my life and it gets better all the time. I am so glad that if I decide to have a pity party cookie I can eat 1 or 2 and be done rather than blow a weeks worth of exercise with a whole package of oreos!
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