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What is to come?

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PhatGurl80

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Today is Thursday July 14, 2011 and exactly 28 days from my Verital Sleeve Gastrectomy. Well, like many of you, I came to the point where my confidence that I'd be able to one day slim down finally crashed and burned. I finally came to a point where I felt that even with all of my dtermination and hard work, I simply could not pull off what seemed to be a minor adjustment in diet and exercise. I've been on that diet roller coaster for too many years, I've been living with that perverbial monkey clawing at my back for way too long.

 

In September of 2009, I had a very casual phone call with my very best friend from childhood. She lived in Raleigh, NC and I lived in St. Louis at the time. We've shared many things with eachother including an uncanny resemblance to eachother which caused people to beloeve we were beyond the "blood sisters" that we ceremoniously donned eachother back in the 4th grade. We were both weighing well into our 200's.... me at a staggering 250 and her at 238. In that seemingly routine "catch up" conversation she dropped the bomb. "I"m going to have the Lap Band surgery." What in the world? Did she honestly think she was so obese that she had to have some kind of invasive surgery. Was this her only choice? I shared those concerns with her and in addition secretly chalked her decision up to the fact that she was just lazy and didn't want to exercise. Afterall, it's all about the math...less calories in and more calories out. I got the picture. I was so convinced that this was the only way that weight loss would be met and kept.

 

So, in the next coming months, I was as supportive as I could be when she called and told me aobut all the many Dr. appointments trying to "qualify" for the surgery through her insurance. Around January of 2010, she was hit with the bomb that her coverage would be denied because her BMI was not high enough for long enough. Her hopes went flailing down the toilet. And my secret objections to it all were satistified. In the meantime, I did get curious about it. I talked with my insurance carrier just to see if it would be covered and of course it wasn't. So, any flighting thoughts of me having this kind of surgery as well were quickly spat on. But behold! in February she told me of another plan she concocted to leave the U.S. and have surgery in Mexico! WTF?!?! NOW she really IS nuts! Then I decided to get serious with my diet and exercise to prove to her that invasive surgery wasn't needed. In June 2010 she got the Sleeve done and 6 months later I saw her for the first time when I went to visit for Christmas. Ironically, I posted the below exerpt from a blog that I had on Fatsecret.com

 

"While visiting a friend in NC over the holidays, I did a lot of thinking about why it's been so hard for me to lose weight and keep it off. My friend, is 6 months into recovering from a weight loss surgery called "the sleeve". It's a procedure where they take 80% of your stomach to keep you from eating a bunch of food at once. She described how she had to only eat liquids for a whole two months afterwards and now when she eats solids, it's only a miniscule amount...too much will cause her to throw it all up (which I also witnessed). I gotta say, she went from about 240 lbs (similar to my weight) and now she's a svelt 1401bs. In only 6 months. Her body type was such that she didn't look obese or overweight, her BMI wasn't even high enough for Doctors in the US to operate (she went to Mexico), yet she decided that having her stomach removed was the easiest route to weight loss. I brought this up to my significant other and since he's a great man who only wants to see me happy, he offered to send me to Mexico as well and have the surgery. So, now the very wish that I've had for years has been sat right down in front of me. In the past few days, I"ve thought long and hard about actually having this surgery and what it would imply about who I am as a person. Am I the type that takes the easy road? Am I the type that takes the hard road for no reason? Would I be giving up? Could I just work really hard to exercise and get better more healthy-looking results? I'm not sure exactly what to do here, but I know that psycologically and physically, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to have this type of surgery. We can afford it, then I would drop more than enough pounds to fit into the wedding dress of my dreams...but I think i'm stronger than that. I think I can do this the natural way and feel much more accomplished once I hit my goal. And I WILL do it."

 

Looking back at that blog excerpt I still feel like I gave up. I feel like that all that hard work I put in to eat right and exercise was so useless that that reason I've opted for the Sleeve is because I'm a failure. Is it just me? Does anyone else feel the way I do? So, this past May of 2011, i convinced myself that going to Mexico and paying $5K would be the best thing for me to do. And I'm a big ball of emotions right now, I'm not really sure how to handle the feelilngs I have about feeling like a failure for doing this. I also find myself saying things like "oh when I get skinny, i'll be able to shop at ___ store..." Scary.

 

So on to the next level of my first blog: Going to Mexico. I used the same coordinator as my friend, Sandy at A Light Me. She set me up with a relatively newer surgeon by the name of Fernando Garcia Govea at a newer hospital. My insurance company doesn't want anything to do with weight loss. Seriously. I can't get anything covered concerning weight loss. But, I can however, get reimbursed through a flexible spending account for gym or nutritionist if my Dr. writes a note that says I need it because i'm obese. But what if I don't have a flexible spending account... Thank God I do, but really? Why can't something like this be covered by my carrier. They'd rather pay for me to be in the hospital for heart attack due to clogged arteries. So Mexico, here I come.

Over the next few weeks...months really, i'll be documenting my experience and ferociously lapping up all of the the other postings out there from people who are also going through this. To everyone out there in the blog-o-sphere, good luck! And I pray that everyone gains what they are searching for.

 

Current Weight: 270

BMI: 43.6

Height: 5'6"

Age: 31

Goal Weight: 170-180

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Dear PhatGurl80,

First of all, let me dispel your theory that you are "taking the easy way out"! It is DIFFERENT than the traditional Diet and Exercise, but they still play a major part in your weight loss! And I have to say, I am one month out, and I would NOT qualify this as "The Easy Way Out"! I am learning a whole new way of life, and it demands committment, drive, energy, determination. I don't want to scare you by saying that this is not the easy way, but it truly isn't. It is just a different direction, one that is "more sure" than diet and exercise with no other intervention.

I find that every day, I have to THINK about what I am going to eat. Earlier this week, I had an episode where (through my own laziness) I overate, and was miserable for hours! Not the easy way out at all. I knew better, but did it anyway, and paid for it for several hours. I am learning that there are choices to be made, and consequences for Bad Choices. When I was on the diet and exercise roller coaster, I made bad choices all the time, and the price I paid was not loosing, or re-gaining some of my weight. Now the consequences are more serious, (nausea, vomiting, painful stomach, etc) so I have to be even more determined to make the correct choice.

Also I found when I was trying to loose weight by diet and exercise that I gave up when I got bored with the diet, the plan, the whatever. After having a VSG there is no "giving up" cause you're bored! This is a permanent lifestyle change! It doesn't matter if you get bored, you are still going to live with the change for the rest of your life. I hope I am not scaring you or discouraging you. I wouldn't change what I did for anything! (I too went to Mexico for my surgery. I cashed in part of my retirement IRA to pay for the surgery. I wanted it THAT badly!) I have lost 48 pounds total so far (20 on the pre-op diet and 28 since the surgery.) I seem to have hit a stall or plateau right now, but I continue to try and make smart choices about what I eat, and continue with my exercise program. (I swim laps in the pool daily.)

I still have issues, like tryiing to get all my water and protein in every day. I am a poor pill taker and it is a struggle to get my vitamins down every day, and I am working on that, because I don't want to have problems down the road that might be caused by to little of one vitamins or another. I was already osteopenic (pre-osteoporosis), so I REALLY need to keep working on my calcium and Vitamin D intake. Also there are many other things that can be caused by deficiencies in your diet, like anemia, hair loss, etc. So it is a daily challenge to get my vitamins and mineral supplements taken. BUT I still have to say, I wouldn't change what I did for ANYTHING! I am SO loving myself at 48 pounds less! And I know the loss will continue, so I am trying REALLY hard not to get bored, not to loose my determination, to stay focused and to do a good job of this!

I wish you well on your journey. It is a challenge, but always rewarding. I look forward to reading your posts as you blog about your experience! Best wishes!!!

KathyD49

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We dont say alcoholics are taking the easy way out when they enter rehab, we commend them for it because quitting anything cold turkey is next to impossible when you are truly addicted. To me, WLS isnt any different. And although I havent been sleeved just yet, from all the posts I've read on VST, it's still a big struggle. You have 80% of your stomach removed, but the sad news is that our "fat brains" dont go out into the medical waste container along with it. We have to retrain and recondition ourselves on how to eat. We cant just pick any old piece of food up and eat it, we have to make conscious decisions which is certainly a battle when you're addicted to food. So although the weight loss stories sound phenomenal and seeing the before and after pics are mind blowing, dont ever think that making this major change to better yourself, your health and your quality of life "the easy way out".

I wish you all the best and much success on your journey. I enjoyed this post, hope to read more from you soon!

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Hey Gurl -

What I love about VST is reading people's blogs and finding out there is an entire community of people that relate to what you are feeling and can empathize with your situation. In the everyday world - people judge you for you appearance and when you are overweight, you feel like everyone is looking at you. So we go through that endless cycle of joining WW losing 20 pounds and then gaining 28 back after we get bored with the plan. So then we join Jenny and pay enormous $$ for food that contrary to thie claims, tastes like spicy camel spit. So we sneak real food to supplement the food that was too spicy - too many green peppers - whatever. I never met a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I couldn't sneak in at 2:00 am. So we decide to try slimfast or optifast or some other shake program. But we are starving after a few days. And then we are told that WW is the only logical way to lose weight - we rejoin WW and buy a Bodybug to wear on our arm to HELP us lose weight... This time...we lose 13 pounds in 4 months and gain it all back in 3 days. But of course we tell ourselves, "we just weren't ready."

The problem with this cyclical method of TRYING to lose weight is we feel like failures every time we don't reach our goals. Are we really failures? No. Did we try really hard? Maybe, but probably not. The point is the one thread that is common is we keep typing to lose weight by changing the type of food we are eating and counting endless fat grams, calories, and fiber.

I believe you will succeed and I don't know you--but I relate to what you are saying. The sleeve is going to take one important factor out of the equation...hunger followed by binging. Not gonna happen Gurl!

You will succeed because that single factor will help you modify former behaviors. In the meantime - start getting ready mentally for the hot little mama you are gonna be. It will happen. You've changed the formula by electing to have this surgery. God bless you. Have a great surgery! Reb

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THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT. I WAS SLEEVED ON 7-11-11. I AM 2 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU, SAME HEIGHT , BUT STARTED AT 280. ON THE DAY ON SURGERY I WAS 260 AND AS OF 7-18 I AM 252. THE HARDEST THING TO DO IS TO RETHINK HOW YOU EAT. IT USED TO BE SO EASY TO GRAB SOMETHING QUICK IN THE DRIVE THRU OR NOT COUNT THAT CINNABON AT THE MALL JUST BEFORE DINNER. ALL THIS WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SPEND MORE TIME HERE ON EARTH WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE. MY FAMILY KEEPS ME GOING. I HOPE TO REACH MY GOAL OF RIDING ROLLER COASTERS AT MAGIC MOUNTAIN WITH MY KIDS AND ACTUALLY FIT ON THE RIDES. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SURGERY AND GOD BLESS.

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