I hear you. I get it. I do. I bet you DID look cute! Remember, Fat is just a thing. All these things you think are a issue are not you, just stuff in your field of vision.

Lose weight, get surgery, whatever, but it is a thing, once fat is gone, will it be, age, hair color? It never ends..

I do renaissance festivals, many many BIG women out there, all loved, no problems with men or friends. All attitude. No matter your age, Go to fair, get a corset, find other fat chicks in corsets, be your own tribe! I have personally known people (just people, no descriptions of any thing else) that were insecure, myself included who after a season or two at fair feel so different about themselves. Such community there. It does not matter what you do in "real" life' how you are out there is all that matters. I just came back from a 3-day weekend at Sherwood Forest Fair in Texas and was talking to a friend who (is still big), who'd had Bypass. She's lost a insane amount and still going down. She was great at all sizes.

Good luck babe-just a thing, nothing nothing to do with the real you (ignore those nasty chicks in the office too!)

I love love love the Ren Fairs! I always wanted to participate in one. Sadly, I have only been a visitor.

Thanks for the kind words. I am just in a funk It will end shortly, I hope. LOL