So I am now in my fourth week post-op, On Monday I am officially through with the mushies stage and can start solids. I actually have been happy with mushies and might continue longer especially if I have a hard time with solid meats.

Weight loss -- another disappointing week. 2.5 lbs. down from last week and all of that was in the first few days of the week. For the last four days or so I've been bouncing around from a low of 204.0 to a high of 205.5. Exasperating. I am SO CLOSE to ONEderland and feeling like it's not going to happen. I wanted to be there by Valentine's Day but at the rate I've been going it's not going to happen until the middle of February.

Two things I know I am not doing right are 1) not getting enough fluids each day and 2) more carbs than I should be eating. I'm mad at myself about both. Oh, add 3) not exercising regularly. As far as fluids goes, most days I am getting around 40 - 44 oz fluids and I know that is not enough! I just have to really buckle down on this and force myself to drink more -- drink almost constantly. I am pretty sure at least part of the reason why I haven't lost more is because I'm not taking in enough fluids.

Re 2) carbs -- I have been using club crackers and baked lentil crackers as a mushy delivery system from bowl/plate to mouth -- usually less than a full serving but adds another 80 - 100 calories to each meal when I eat them (but to be fair ... the meat side is usually about 150 calories or less anyway, so most days I am getting 600 calories or less total, even with the crackers. Yes, I am rationalizing!) I also caved and bought some carby snacks from Costco (baked Lays snack bag collection and Riceworks Spicy Chili brown rice crackers). I have had one bag of baked Lays and then yesterday caved and opened the bag of the Riceworks crackers and had a good full serving of those. I KNOW this is bad for my weight loss .... I think it might be a little PMSing. And honestly, I have missed carbs and I this is a bad, slippery slope I'm on!

Re 3) exercise, I only exercised once this week (last Sun) but as soon as I finish this blog post I am going with DH to the local fitness center (where we have a membership that we have paid every month for a long time but haven't used in nearly as long) and hop on the treadmill. I'm going to start out taking it easy and hopefully build up back to where I was last spring (when we stopped going). DH and I will have to start going regularly after work a couple of nights a week. If I can exercise 3 days a week for a consistent period of time I'll be happy and then try to gradually bump it up.

On the bright side, I did officially get to 20 lbs. weight loss since surgery, and am pretty sure I will be there (or hopefully a little better) on my one month surgiversary. I have about 80 lbs. to lose to get to goal weight ... from where I am today it seems SO far away. I was really hoping to lose 25 lbs. in my first month but it looks like that just is not to be. I am envious of fast losers. And a little mad at myself that I am not doing everything right to help myself get there.

Oh -- also it's been quite the challenge to eat meals with DH. Last night we went to our neighborhood Mexican restaurant and I ordered my own dinner (knowing I would only make a small dent in it) -- mole enchiladas filled with ground beef and refried beans on the side. Man it was good, and everything mushed up very nicely, but it was ridiculous looking at the platter when I was done with my 4-5 bites (it was like this tiny divot of food missing out of an otherwise full plate). DH said, "They're going to think you don't like it," but I asked for a to-go box and filled it up and will be eating the same meal for the next 3 days I think. Luckily for me, I don't mind eating leftovers repeatedly!

When we are at home, it's just SO WEIRD to eat such a tiny amount and at a snail's pace while DH eats at a normal/fast pace ... I end up abandoning half my dinner at the time he's done, and then waiting an hour or so, and then finishing it off on my own.

I am still glad I got this surgery -- 20 lbs. lost in a month is by far the most I've ever lost in such a short time. And I do hope I can maintain a 2.5 lb. weight loss each month from here on out -- that will work out to about 10 lbs. lost per month and at that rate I will be at or near goal by late summer.

Gotta go to the gym!