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Is it just me?

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Butrcupz622

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In about 2 weeks I'll be marking my 6th month surgiversary and have lost about 85 pounds altogether. Not totally what I would have liked, but I am definitely not complaining. I just recently bought some jeans at a size 20... something I can say I never was. I skipped that size on the way up in weight. And it feels good to know that I'll never be a 26/28 again. My arms have gotten smaller. Definitely not as flabby as they used to be. But I have noticed the elasticity of my skin in the legs area. My legs, while they have become toned, are hanging with the excess skin that I have. I'm kinda hoping that with the additional weight loss that they'll go down a good bit. I feel better about myself and when I look at old pictures of me, I can't believe just how fat my face was or how huge my legs were. I feel disgusted at everything that makes me, well me.

And my hair has been falling out. At first, I attributed my hair loss to some pills I had been taking only to realize that it's the surgery. But now I find myself obsessing about my hair a little bit more each day because it's gotten to the point where I've begun seeing my scalp. Seriously, at what point do i say it's not just the surgery anymore? And at what point will the doctors stop using it as an excuse? I've lost so much hair, that my long curly hair, hardly gets knotted up. I'm scared to wash it, scared to brush, scared to dye it and switch it up. I've started taking all the hair and nail vitamins which seems to be working on my legs and underarms but not the top of my head. I'm feeling hopeless...

It's so crazy how weight loss can just intertwine feelings of good and bad. One minute, I can love myself and just feel on top of the world and the next, I'm still feeling how I did when I was at my heaviest.. like I hate myself and the world.

My hormones have been so crazy these past few months that I don't know how to act and react to my surroundings. I get into these terrible mood swings and I say and do stuff that isn't me. The worst thing about it is that I don't care about what I've done 'til days later. That's when the remorse starts to kick in. It's crazy. I am definitely not the same person I was when I began this journey. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll become a better person. I'm having a terrible time adjusting. If anyone can give me some insight, I would really appreciate it. I need to regain control and some level of normalcy.

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Hi Butrcupz,I dont know if this will help or not but I went to a support group 2/1/2011 and It opened up a few things that I wanted to know,(do you attend your support groups after your surgery)and If not Why and what keeps you from going?,,,,first its where you havn't been taking your (all of your vitimans)you have multi vitimans centrum with Iron or another 100% of what you need,vitiman d3,vit B6,B12,calcium,and most of all your PROTEIN....do you drink your protein? call your nutritionist and see what kind and how how much protein do you need to take per sitting,this is something you have to do for the rest of your life and we have to get used to it in order to be as beautiful as you are and keep that long curly hair that you got.....I dont want to seen hard or anything but those people that did your surgery are there to help you....and when you need them make sure that you use them to benifit you .thats what your insurance paid them $20.000 for.

I havnt had my surgery yet but I have been to several siminars and support group meeting,,,and I did learn a little....I hope everything gets better for you....by the way we have to pay a price to be beautiful...and the price of a wig is not too much...do you feel me?.....thanks for hearing me out .....camille01

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I cannot offer you a solution. But I do want to tell you that I, too, have had some bouts of craziness. I have found that since my surgery I have had many times where my behaviours have been a bit irrational. First I seemed to be feeding my family meals that I wanted to eat so was kind of vicariously eating through them. Then I found myself angry that they could eat things I wished I could eat. Then the cravings kind of left but I was still finding ways to behave inappropriately. I find myself so short tempered and ready to explode at any moment, for any reason. My daughter even suggested that perhaps I needed to eat. Perhaps there is something to hormone imbalance mixed in with some psychological issues and perhaps even vitamin deficiencies. Let's keep a positive outlook and try to find ways to sort through our emotional and physical changes.

As far as the hair loss goes, I hear that it is part of the process and my nutritionist suggested that taking vitamins will help prevent it. I haven't experienced it yet and I too, have thick, curly hair. I joke and say that less of my wild hair might be a good thing. I haven't been taking the vitamins because, it sounds crazy, they are so big! I think that I will start taking them as your story has made me realize that I must take care to follow the advice given to me.

Just like a bad hair cut, I have been told that the hair will grow back.

Good luck to you. Keep your chin up!

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