Oh I feel you!! I was trying to be strong but in my head, I was PANICKED! I wrote letters to all my love ones because I was so sure that I would die. My Doctor was so good when she was explaining the risks. she said 99% of people do fine but who cares about the 99% if you are in the 1%. So I prepared for the worst and was very happy when I woke up from surgery. Ok that is not true, I was hapy a few days later! : ) But here is what I told myself and others when they asked. If I do not have this surgery, I will die early. It might be from a bad heart or from cancer but it is coming for sure. If I don't have this surgery now while I am healthy and the risks are low i will for sure be having some kind of surgery (heart, knee, back, etc) and it will be riskier because my health will be worse. Electing to have the surgery is weird. Who does that to themselves? But you know what- it is too bad that doctors can't mandate you have it like open heart surgery because that is how important this is to your health. So far I have lost about 45 lbs that I know of ( I try not to weight because I don't want to stress all the time) and I am almost 3 weeks out from surgery. It took me about 15 years to get this weight on, slow and steady and thank goodness this surgery is going to help me get it off in a fraction of that time! Now, that said- I am tired most of the time and I am still pretty sore when I hit a bump in the car or if I cough but it is getting better every day. I am struggling with protein drinks and getting as much as I am supposed to but again- every day is getting better! I wish you the best of luck on your new path. It isn't easy but I do believe that is will be well worth it!

iT SOUNDS LIKE I WROTE THIS!!! IM ALSO VERY VERY VERY NERVOUS!!!! I GET SO MANY MIXED EMOTIONS, ONE DAY I'LL BE SOO EXCITED, THEN THE NEXT THINKING "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING TO MYSELF?' ITS ON AND OFF. I ALSO FEEL LIKE I'LL HAVE A PANIC ATTACK IN THE OR RIGHT BEFORE SURGERY!!! BUT I JUST TRY TO THINK OF THE FUTURE AND THE REASON WHY IM DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. I ALSO KEEP ON CHEATING!!! I CAN'T HELP IT. ITS LIKE IM SCARED I'LL NEVER HAVE A CERTAIN TYPE OF FOOD AGAIN SO I EAT THAT!!! MY SURGERY IS IN 7 DAYS!!!! I HOPE THEY DON'T HAVE TO RESCHEDULE ME... MY GOD ITS A BIG DEAL SO I GUESS ITS NATURAL TO FEEL THIS WAY. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE, IN JESUS NAME.