I wish that October 15th would come quicker, but at the same time it is good that it is still almost two weeks away so that I can lose more weight before my appt with Dr. Baggs. I weighed in this morning at 279. Hey when Kaiser weighed my a week from today I was 291. And when I weighed myself at home in the afternoon a week from today I was 293. I think that I am doing good!!! Makes me wonder if I can lose the weight with just sticking to this diet? Then I think, I have done this before, lost weight and then gained it all back plus some. I need more help than just myself. I need the sleeve to assist me in making the right decisions and eating less. Though I have to say that I am waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay nervous about having the surgery. I have only been under anesthesia once and that was when I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I am nervous about complications and how much pain I will be in afterwards. Also, is there going to be a drain sticking out of one of my incisions and will my BF be grossed out having to take care of me? He wants me to be home and says that if I can get the surgery during one of his weeks off (he is a teacher) then he will be my personal nurse 24/7. I just don't know that I want him to see me all yucky! I have never broken any bones or any other big injuries so I am not sure how I am going to do with the pain. Why am I worrying about all of this now? When I still have at least a couple of months before I get the surgery? I am a worrywart. I looked at some people posted pics of them after surgery in the hospital with their tubes and incisions and yuck, then I read about how some people were in so much pain. I am only planning on taking a week off work. Then if I have to then I will work half days the following week. So I better not be one of those people who is in pain and misery for 2 weeks straight!!! I mean I know that I am still going to be in pain, but I want to be able to function. I know that I will be getting part of my stomach removed, wow, that is very weird to say or write. I will be getting part of my stomach removed. Easier the second time. So obviously there is going to be pain for awhile. I just don't want any complications or problems....does anyone? Sometimes the more I research something the more freaked out I get. I know its supposed to help me understand what I soon will be going through and to be honest it is better to know than to go in blinded. But still, too much can be a bad thing as well, at least for me. But yet I continue to view this website daily and see what is going on with everyone. It is almost a compulsion that I can't stop! I wish that I was already a year out from my sleeve surgery and I was back to normal and did not have any problems during that time. Don't you wish you could just "poof" and make it happen sometimes? I sometimes picture myself skinny or thinner I should say. I have wanted to be back to a "normal" size before I turn 30. I am 28 right now with a birthday in April. I know that I just need to be mentally tough in regards to the surgery. Right now the eating is fine. I am losing at a steady pace of at least a pound a day. There has been cookies, pizza and junk food around me all weekend long and I did not have the desire to have any of it. So my mind for food in mentally tough I just have to not worry so much about the surgery itself but the results and outcomes of that surgery. A month or two of suffering is worth it!