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That Dress

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vanishingvixen

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I wore my favorite dress last Saturday night. It was a bittersweet. I freakin’ rocked that dress, if I might say so myself. (as much as it could be rocked by someone that weighs 300#) And if ppl’s reaction / responses to me in that dress were any indication – I was a Red Foxx!! IMG_6096.jpg

 

But alas, I realized that it will be the last time I wear that dress (unless I can manage to rock it another time or 2 before 9/21).

It still trips me out that quite a few folks – including a few miscellaneous ppl in various store I stopped at – including folks outside my general realm of admirers ( to be PC about it *lol*) were gassing up my head! but maybe...it was just a nice. dress.

 

IMG_6243.jpgThing is, given my recent over-all disgust over my appearance…I felt…GOOD in that dress. It may have been a fluke – as I know that will be the last time some of those folks will see me this size, but I again made me think about my concerns about me future “post” body. My big & bodacious body so round & full of life…will soon shrink…I’m just wondering if my personality will, too.

 

See, this is a new place for me. Insecure about this frame I’m in…unable to take a compliment, for the most part. I wonder how that will change in the coming year – if at all.

 

I have so many funky-fresh outfits & dresses I’ve accumulated over the years, i'm gonna miss how I looked in (some) of it, yanno?

 

That’s neither here nor there, I guess. I’m just gonna enjoy this last lil bit of summer in my size 22/24/3x big girl clothes.

 

Change soon come – I bring it!

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You look like a beautiful happy woman. I'm sure you will be gorgeous at any size. I think your personality which shines in your post, will survive AND I bet you find a new favorite dress.

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Beautiful inside and out, that'll carry you through! I've been dealing with a lot of these kinds of feelings too... I'm afraid I'll end up even more insecure, like once I'm thin I'll feel like I'm in a stranger's body.

I've always been a big girl, but I know I have a nice shape and I'm scared about the extra skin and how it'll change that-- I don't want my nice voluptuous boobs and butt to suddenly turn flattened and lifeless. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I think so much of this is about getting to know a whole new person-- she's always been inside you but she's never gotten to shine before.

I guess we'll just have to keep servin' it as best we can!

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I know you ladies are right. And I wish so many of my concerns weren't vanity-driven. But, as someone who never had a problem being a "big girl" until it started to get physically uncomfortable - I almost feel like I'm not gonna know this new person. IDK if that makes much sense, but in my own twisted head...

I'll be real - I love the fullness of my breasts and the curves of my hips...Granted - at my smallest, maybe a size 12/14 in 11th grade, I still was all boobs & hips...so it's quite fathomable that ill still have my lovely lady lumps...BUT, I know that no matter how hard I work out - without the help of a body lift, booble lift & such...the skin/sagging will take over. I'm trying to make my peace with that. It's a process...but thankful to have found a forum where other folks are on the journey & understand!

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