Wow, that is so wonderful to have your husband now fully on board. Having his support will help you be much more successful! I feel very lucky that my husband wants to have surgery also and we can go through this stuff together.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like you can't leave the house. I have had times like that and take it from me - staying in the house actually makes you feel more depressed. At least get in the car and take a nice drive with the windows down, or something like that, where you will still feel like you're not out in public as much but you can get sun and fresh air. It really helps you feel better.

You MUST start the journey of learning to love yourself even while heavy... it is hard but it is possible. I weighed 295 on my wedding day (at the time that was my highest weight ever) even though I had wanted to lose for my wedding, I gained. But I was so happy and truly happy with who I was that I didn't even care... and everyone said I looked more gorgeous than ever, and asked if I had lost weight. I laughed inside thinking, um no I gained like 15 lbs! But you know, I was confident and happy and that truly shows and makes you more beautiful on the outside!! Find one thing about your appearance to compliment yourself on each day when you look in the mirror. Keep adding to it. So today maybe it's your smile. Tomorrow maybe it's your smile and your eyes. Then it's your smile, your eyes, and that cute freckle. Whatever... eventually you will really start to like what you see. Weight is only one part of who we are and you can't let it define you. Be happy with yourself NOW, and that will only make your happiness even greater when you ARE thinner. If you rely on the thinness to make you happier, it won't live up to your expectations. Best wishes!