As I approach my 9 month post-op mark, I am trying to maintain my current loss. I won't deny having trouble maintaining, but I am doing my very best to quit losing as I am in the normal BMI range, and I feel great at my current weight. I'm technically 20 pounds below my goal weight, but my ideal weight for my height and frame is anywhere between 114-129 pounds. Living life post weight loss surgery has changed me more than just the physical stuff. Mentally, I feel better, emotionally, well that's debatable because of the hormone flux that we endure when we lose large amounts of weight, but for the good news, I no longer seek comfort in food. I literally eat to live instead of living to eat.

I eat anything and everything I want just in moderation. I still eat Pringles and Snickers, but instead of eating the entire tube of Pringles, 5 satisfy me, instead of a King-size Frozen Snickers, 1 little Fun size bar cures my chocolate fix. It's really pretty fabulous. With the surgery I had, they removed about 75% of my stomach and with removing the stretchy part of the stomach (fundus) the hormone that causes hunger called Ghrelin is removed as well . I eat about 1 cup of solid food per meal, and I eat 4 times a day, with some snacks on some days. I honestly eat between 1100-1200 calories, about 65grams of carbs, and over 80 grams of protein per day without the use of protein supplements. So, by no means am I malnourished, or starving myself. My post-op lab work has been perfect, my resting heart rate has now dropped to normal levels, and I am more active. If I wasn't "healthy" or if I were "so sick", I believe my labs, and energy levels would reflect that. I've had several comments of what I would like to believe is genuine concern such as "I've never seen your face so thin" "you look sick". Well, no one has ever seen me under 200 pounds for the last 12 years. However, I recall so many comments from family and friends such as " you're such a beautiful girl, now if you could just lose that extra weight you'd be gorgeous." or "she's got such a pretty face" or " it's not too hard to just work out, and push yourself away from the table." "no one is going to marry you with as fat as you are" (boy were they wrong on that one, I married an amazing man), so what gives? Either you love me fat, or skinny, or keep the insensitive comments to yourself. Some of you may wonder why I'm posting this, honestly I'm just tired of the comments from people that are supposed to love me the most. Not to mention, the fact that they seem to forget that they made just the opposite of their comments to me for many years. Literally, I was 185 when I graduated high school, 237 pounds the day I delivered Caysen in June 1998, so of course, I'm not going to look the same 15 years later, and 140 pounds smaller from my heaviest weight.

I started the weight loss surgery journey at 270 pounds, and today I'm weighing 130 pounds. I've literally lost another human being or a little more than half of my former self. I'm not bragging or gloating by any means. I am damn proud of my success, and I am not ashamed of my choice to have weight loss surgery to use as a tool to get me to my goal weight, and help me maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle. No one can honestly know the struggles of obesity until they have been there. No one can tell me that I made the wrong choice, and no one will bring me down. I haven't ever felt this amazing in my life. I can run around the backyard with Lil C, I can work out for over an hour without my entire body aching, I can walk through the mall for hours without getting winded, I can wear normal size clothing, I can fit into a doctor's office chair without worrying about if I'm going to have trouble getting out of it. I can fit into a booth at a restaraunt without having to scoot the table over closer to John and Caysen. So, whether you like that I'm not fat anymore, or you're concerned about my health, I wish you would of cared about my health when I was morbidly obese instead of worrying about my pretty face.

If you have a friend or family member struggling with obesity, don't tell them it's easy to just workout and eat less, don't tell them they have a pretty face, tell them that you love them, and you want them to get healthy so you can have them in your life for as long as possible. Encourage them, educate them on good nutrition, be an example not an enabler, and above all support them if they choose to make the very life-changing decision to have weight loss surgery. When they lose weight, celebrate with them, when they struggle because believe me it's still a struggle even with surgery, encourage them, and reassure them that they can successful.

Just my thoughts for the day.