and I'm not really sure how I feel about it.

There is a part of me that is ecstatic that my weight loss has hit a plateau, BUT (you knew there was a but in there), I am also frustrated because I am so close to goal. 6 fricken pounds, and I've been stalled about 9 days. I am by no means disappointed with my results thus far, and I know exactly why I've stalled.

#1 - My tastebuds have returned to normal, and I have new found love of chocolate. Especially, white chocolate with crushed up candy canes. Yes, they are divine. Caysen brought a bag of homemade candies from school home, and he nor John like them. So, they are all mine.

#2 - I'm not eating breakfast. I have always hated eating breakfast, and I did really well the first 4.5-5 months. The last month I don't think I've eaten breakfast at all. I'm eating 2 meals per day, and I feel great.

#3 - I've incorporated more carbs into my meals. I still get in my protein first, but I can eat carbs like a champ. If I want to snack, I eat crackers with flavored cream cheese. And, I have a fabulous habit of eating beef jerky if you're wondering how I get my protein in with just 2 meals.

#4 - I haven't been to the gym in almost a month. Our vacation to WV screwed up my schedule. Come home 2 days later and got the blood clot. That kept me out of the gym for 2.5 weeks, and now I have lost my motivation. I have to get back to it PRONTO ! ! !

#5 - I need to maintain as close to my goal of 150 pounds so we can try to conceive late spring of 2010. If I get below 135, I'm in trouble with my surgeon and he won't let me start TTC until I can prove that I can maintain 140-150 for at least 3-5 months.

I'm not really upset about the stall because it's not a horrible thing. I'm enjoying a normal, healthy lifestyle. I'm eating anything and everything I want and need. I am by no means complaining about the stall because I know that I am responsible for it.

It's a catch 22 situation in all honesty. I could go back to basics, and drop these last 6+ pounds in a matter of 2 weeks and get to goal. Or, I could keep doing what I am doing, lose it over the next 6 weeks, and still be able to maintain.

John thinks and verbally expresses that I've lost enough weight. He is worried about me once again, and while I know it's out of love and concern, him being the food police is really starting to bug the snot out of me. He also is on me on the time about my vitamins, and my daily food consumption when he is not home. He even goes so far to ask Caysen if I ate or not. I do not need to be monitored like a baby. I think my independence is being a bit threatened and it's getting on my nerves. I think everyone here that follows my life, knows/realizes that I love my husband, but this food police thing is getting a bit absurd, and I'm not willing to lie to my husband, but for the love of everything holy, he's got to losen the reins or I'm going to go insane.

I'm just cranky, and needed to vent. I plan on hitting the gym after the New Year since our trip to Texas has been postponed until Spring 2010. I am not even going to try to go this week. My heart isn't into it, and my work out buddy is out of state visiting family for Christmas. Maybe when she returns next week, we can go a couple of times.

I know that I need to get back to basics. Funny thing is that I'm not craving carbs, nor do they make more "hungry" or trigger any further "bad" habits. I still stay below 30grams of carbs per day so it isn't like I'm consuming more carbs than protein. I would say my diet is fairly balanced. There are some days when I just do not want to eat meat, so once to twice a week, I may skip meat at one of my meals.

I'm not going to lie to anyone here, or myself, this stall has me frustrated, but it's all on me, and I'm not really sure if it's more important for me to get to goal, or really "feel good" about my lifestyle and relationship with food right now.

Maybe, we'll see how next week goes, and if the scale moves. If it doesn't, I'll probably stop all carbs, and go on a protein and clear liquid fest. Until then, I'm going to continue to enjoy my daily life and choices.