It is said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step. I began my journey on April 9, 2013. That's the day it finally hit me. I was sitting on a plane. I was an Oreo away from the ultra-embarrassing plea for the belt extender. I could barely fit in the last of my emergency wardrobe. I was tired. Tired of trying to accommodate my fat life style. Because that's what you do. You accommodate your fatness. I just couldn't go on like this. I was ready for a change. I was already through all my hoops for the Lap Band surgery. I was in limbo waiting for my insurance company to green light me. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I decided .. that minute.. that tomorrow I would start my quest for Thindom.

Thindom is a mystical place. It’s the fat ass version of Vallhalla, Atlantis and the Lost City of Gold all rolled up in to one. For a fat person, Thindom is a legend. It is a utopian place that the over -girthed can only dream about. No fat ass has ever been to Thindom and come back to talk about it. Many expanded explorers have tried, but all have failed. It is said that those that enter Thindom, are blessed with a new life filled with hope and joy. Everyone smiles and beams with optimism. It is a place where one size really does fit all. It’s heaven for the hefty.

But beware you of fatness! The trail to Thindom is wrought with danger. There are obstacles at every turn. Unknown creatures and mythical beings lurk in the shadows; their only goal is your defeat. To get to Thindom, you must soldier through these adversities. You must plan your adventure carefully. And you can NEVER look back. You can NEVER give up. There is no yellow brick road. There is only nachos and cheese.

I have made it half way to Thindom. I’m currently navigating my way through the evil forest of fat. I can see the magical mountains of Munchies in the distance. Once I cross their jagged peaks, I hope to spy the valley of Thindom. I know it is there. I can feel it.

Alas, my journey has had its ups and downs. I have danced with the Devil. I have succumbed to the liquid offerings of Al C. Hall. I have fought the beautiful temptress and her sultry offers of cheeseburger and fries. I have dueled with the Duke of Doughnuts. Yes friends, there have been pitfalls. But every time I fell, I got up. The demons in my mind have not deterred me from goal.

I have managed to shed 45 pounds of unsightly blubber. I have 41 to go to hit my goal. If my present pace continues, I will have a 1 in the front of my weight in a few weeks for the first time since Reagan was president. Yes, I know. The road to Thindom gets harder as you get closer to the gate. I hope it’s not just fat ass folklore. When I get there, I will try to contact you from the other side. I wonder if Thindom has wi-fi?

Until we meet again….

Johnny T

Please visit my blog:

TheDeconstructionOfJohnny.blogspot.com