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Got to love the confusion about 'ideal weight'

lellow

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So my surgeon, who replaced my band, and his wife, who does my fills, can't agree. When I went in to see him for the first time, I'd been successfully maintaining for 3 years and then lost restriction with a leak. My BMI was just under 23. And that's what he's recorded it as.

 

My BMI just a smidge over 24. He thinks I need to be a bit tighter so I can get back down to my pre-leak weight. His wife, however, thinks I am perfect the way I am now.

 

What IS someone's ideal weight? Because even my care-givers can't agree. I personally think it's when I look in the mirror and am happy with me. And I'm happy with me now more than I ever have been. We're talking about mere lbs here but somehow the number on the scale is still king and I'm sick of it.

 

I decided at my last appt that no, I don't want to lose anymore. I told them that we will work at getting a fill level that will provide maintenance for me. Not weight loss. Because in the end, *I* decide what I'm happy with, and happiness in myself doesn't come from a number on the scale. So no green zone, no regular fills, no jumping on the scales everyday.

 

My band is working, I can feel it. Maybe not at optimal performance but good enough to help me maintain. So my scale can abdicate now, thank you very much, it is no longer the king of me.



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I agree with you, at the end of the day you have to stay at the weight you are most comfortable with. You have to decide what your ideal weight is right now. That's not to say it won't change in the future, up or down, all you can do is go with what feels right today.

It's funny because my doctor was "satisfied" with my weight loss 25 pounds ago. He thought losing 200 pounds was "more than he could've hoped for". I, however, was nowhere near satisfied. I won't be satisfied until my BMI is well out of the obese range- so I set my goal weight a good 60 pounds less than the one he set for me.

Once I get down to that point, I highly suspect I'll lower it even more. We'll see.

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I did that Missy, I got to my goal weight where my BMI was 27 and I wasn't happy either.Got to a BMI of 25, and nope, still not happy. So I kept losing, looking for that elusive point where I was happy with what I saw. I realise now I was not ever going to be happy because I always saw my imperfections, and thought I could lose weight and they'd disappear. I now am more accepting of my imperfections and accept that they make me who I am, and that's beautiful too. :)

I think losing and then gaining has actually turned out to be a godsend for me, because I can see myself more realistically now. Before the leak, I'd stay on or around a BMI of 23 only because my dr threatened to unfill me if I lost anymore. Now it's a more natural decision. I like what I see. That's never really happened for me before.

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i couldnt agree more...

my goal weight by the doctors charts (are something i dont think i can ever get to) and i am not saying that to sound b***h** but its true..for my height, it is what i weighed when i was in my mom's stomach when she was pregnant...i told my surgeon, the number i want to get to is me being healthy, mobile and something i can get to and stay with (and maintain happily)......i believe that the band/plication will help me with that part....

i recall sitting in his office and him asking what did i want to weigh

at the time he said it, i was well over 300+ and i said i'd like to get to 299....and then 289 etc......and he laughed......and then i said eventually, i'd love to see 199.....and if i got there, i am okay with that....he said it is technically (obese still) but i said its something i can get too and right now that is all i care about.....

i am not a hooked on number person

i dont own a scale and use the clothes i have (or now have to buy all the time) as my guide....call me strange, but it works for me...

so do i have a number in mind after all this rambling, well yeah

but right now, i just want to see 199 make an appearance .

GREAT post lellow

GREAT comment missy

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I am so happy that I am not the only one with confusion over the "Goal weight". When I first saw my doctor, I was over 350. The weird thing is not many people realized how big I had become (It must be that new stealth technolgy). I am 6'4" tall, and built like a linebacker.....which was a good thing, since that was what I was in college.

My doctor looked at a chart, and said that with my height, I should be shooting for 183 pounds. 183? You have to be kidding me. My boss, who is an avid cycler. I don't mean he rides a bike here and there. He rides 80 mile races. He went for a cardiac stress test for insurance purposes and no matter how high they put the treadmill, he couldn't reach the target heartrate they were looking for. He is all muscle. He is 2 inches shorter tan I, and he weighs in at 185.

My goal, as it has been since last year is to get to 234. "Why is he coming up with such an exact number?" you might ask..... Well, that was the weight that I played football at in college. If I can get back to the weight I was when I was in the best shape of my life, I will be very happy.

One more thing.....I am with CarolinaGirl. I use my clothes more as a guide than the scale. For me, I see a difference in my belt quicker than I do in the scale.

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It is weird to me that the MD's ask or tell what the goal weight is when having the lap band... I understand why they do it since I am in healthcare, but that goal number is so overwhelming to me. My MD just said when you get to the weight that you can maintain and are comfortable then you have hit your goal! I am more comfortable with that thought process, although I still weigh myself once a week since it is the way that I judge if I need a fill along with the way I feel with my eating.

You lose until you are comfortable with you which I believe is a struggle since we always tend to believe that we are "big" and see all our flaws. You got this girl!

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I had set a goal of 170 and when I got to the 190's I decided maybe 150 would be nice. At my last doctor's visit he said I lost 60% of my BMI and that went to my head, for all the wrong reasons. The doctor said if all his patients lost 60% of their BMI he would be thrilled. I said no to a fill that day and since then I have not lost one ounce but gained a few pounds because I fell back to my old **** ways of having ice cream and other foods that aren't healthy choices.

I see the doctor Friday and yes, I am getting a fill. Tomorrow is 1 year for me and I feel wonderful but need to be thinner. 43 years ago, right before I got married I was 144 and I looked good then and have never seen that number since and I was 19 then.

Do what you want with your numbers and be happy with you!

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