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The BIG 4-0 !

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Johnny99

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Yep, the Big 4-0! As much as I wish that was my current age, alas it is not. That ship sailed many moons ago, some where around George Bush 1 (The old guy). But it is the number of unsightly pounds that I have shredded since I began this journey on April 9th. My deconstruction has been in full swing for 15 weeks. If we look back to my first appointment in January, I have been fully encompassed with this project for 7 plus months, over half a year. Time does fly.

 

Let's talk about what 40 pounds really is.

 

A 15 foot canoe weighs 40 pounds. FYI - My old ass would never fit in a canoe. The kids at camp always made me go in the big boat.

 

An average 3 year old child and a full size Soft Coated Wheaton Terrier each weigh 40 pounds. In case you're wondering, I did check. A strange kid or a lost dog was not wedged in my butt crack.

 

An average full size human leg weighs 40 pounds. Really? I think one of my legs is the average weight of a full size human.

 

5 gallons of water weighs 40 pounds. Did you ever try to replace the big bottle on the water cooler? They're friggin heavy. It takes 2 skinny kids in my office to change it.

 

2 car tires weigh 40 pounds. Wow. I've been wearing two radials around my mid section. My goal is to lose a whole set of tires .... and the spare. Yikes.

 

4 ten pound bowling balls weigh 40 pounds. Try carrying those up and down the stairs a few times.

 

Need we go on? It's mind blowing to me that this much excess blubber was attached to my paltry frame. AND I'm not even half way done! I still gotta lose at least a kid and a Chihuahua to hit my goal.

 

Remember the guy who said " I treat my body like a temple." That obviously wasn't me. I've treated my body more like an all night diner. Attached to a liquor store. Years of binge eating, binge drinking and party chasing have come back to haunt me. There's always a price to pay. Reminds me of that 70s era bumper sticker: "Gas, Grass or ass, nobody rides for free."

 

The good news is that I should hit the half way mark to my goal some time next week. If I average losing 1-1/2 pounds per week I should hit goal near the end of January. In the mean time, if your missing a kid or a Labrador Retriever, I'll bend over and give you look in my handy lost & found area.

 

Chow Chow!

Johnny

 

P.S. I see Dr. X Monday for another fill. I'm guessing he's going to take me up another 1.5 ccs. That will be a 30% closure on the band. Another new adventure.

 

Visit my blog at;

 

TheDeconstructionOfJohnny.blogspot.com

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