Day 4

Best day so far. Was finally able to get out of bed, walk around without crying, and I actually went down stairs today. Yay me! My mom has been great coming over and getting things for me. It is so funny because she always wants to help me get out of bed, because that is the most difficult and painful part - I keep thinking that I will bust the stitches open. So she wants me to grab on to her arm, but she is 63 years old and probably 110 pounds and I am positive I will just break her if I put any weight on her to get up. So we keep fighting about how I should get out of bed.

But today is day four and I don't need help anymore! Don't get me wrong - my incisions are still painful as hell. But today is doable. This is the first day I could say that. Surgery day and the following 2 days are a huge blur. I can't believe how much pain I was in. I knew it was normal, and I just tried to focus on sleeping, so the next would come and be easier. That must have been a good plan, because here I am!

My biggest ah ha moment so far was the fact I had a haitial hernia. I had no idea I had one. I have always been 50 pounds over weight, but very active and I considered myself healthy and I would have said that I had 0 side effects from being obese. I was a "low BMI" patient and the 3 people who I did tell about my lap band all were very surprised because they didn't think I was that big. I know how shallow this sounds, but the reason I wanted to get lap band was because I wanted to look better. It had nothing to do with my health, because I thought I was healthy. But, I got a pretty huge reality check. A lot of people said they felt they regretted their lap band the first couple of days, but I have never once regretted my choice. All I can think about is the fact that I do have health problems because of my weight and I'm so glad I have made this life change.

For me, the next four weeks are going to be totally about healing and nothing else. I won't worry about my weight (even though I did sneak check it a few times already). I will worry about getting enough protein (had 34 grams today), getting enough rest, and setting up a routine. Today I had a protein shake for breakfast, broth for lunch, and another protein shake, for dinner, and snacks of jell-o, popsicles, and gatorade.

I am not hungry yet, which is a miracle. I hope this feeling stays for a few more days. Although, I do need to stop watching the Food Network because everything on there looks so good! I know a lot of people say that McDonalds made them fat, or high fructose corn syrup, but for me - I swear, Food Network made me fat! I am totally going to start cutting back!

I truly can't believe I'm here. I'm scared to death of complications and having to go through surgery again. It was so stressful on my body and I really really don't want to do it again. But for now, I'm fine! Wow!