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How many interesting people have you missed out on meeting?

lellow

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I saw a video of an interview with Dustin Hoffman today and it really rang true for me. I think I am so lucky because I was a big girl most of my life and lost the weight, and in the process I went from being invisible to being visible to society.

 

The thing is, I didn't even know I was invisible when I was heavy. How would I when I'd been heavy all my adult life? But when I lost the weight, and the level of attentiveness, regard and interaction people wanted with me increased out of sight, I realised how little people reached out to me before. That SO many people who think I'm amazing and wonderful now, wouldn't have given me the time of day 5 years ago.

 

An old friend and I were talking today, and he said he was so shy when he first met me coz I was thin already and he was 'still the fat guy', and he didn't understand why I reached out to him. I told him of anyone he'd meet, I'd be the one who would never see his weight, because unlike most people, I know better. I know that a person's weight doesn't define them. Because my weight should never have defined me.

 

Anyhow, it makes me wonder how many people have missed out on meeting the most amazing people because they stereotype them in their heads. Which is why Dustin Hoffman's interview struck such a cord. I hope it's ok to post it, because it really moved me, and I hope it moves you.

 

http://www.upworthy.com/dustin-hoffman-breaks-down-crying-explaining-something-that-every-woman-sadly-already-experienced-3



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Very poignant! I, too, have always - at least since 2nd grade, been fat. I never dated until I lost the weight. Part of that was my whole thing about hiding and protecting myself (completely unaware of it of course!). But my dysfunctional strategy worked so well because staying fat made me invisible. Honestly - when in situations where meeting people or the possibility of romantic relationships was there, it never occurred to me that anyone might consider me. I intuitively knew that I was not on the menu. In junior high, when my boy-crazy best friend and I went to 6 Flags (or anywhere, really), I was just an audience as she flirted with every male she saw. She saw them and they saw her. But I was invisible to everyone until their encounter was over. When we went to church camp, the goal of the week was to have a boyfriend/girlfriend by the time we left. Eight summers of church camp - not one boyfriend. Not even a nibble.

Now, like I said, I have to take full responsibility and don't get to whine about how shallow people are and "poor, lonely, fat, me," because I made my choices. I spent waaaayyyy too many years on that pity pot. That does not, however, change the fact that because I did not fit the mold -(literally could not have fit into that mold...) I was a non-entity.

I have a dear friend who is partially paralyzed due to a stroke many, many years ago. Now that I am "visible" to the world, I am shocked when we go somewhere and she is the invisible one. People will acknowledge me and completely pretend they never saw her. I pray that I never become so accustomed to being "normal" that I treat others with such disregard.

Shelly

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