Weds, June 12

Hello again loyal Bloggins, Johnny fans and fellow Bandsters! It's been about a week since we chatted so I thought I'd let you know how it's going on The World According to Johnny. I gotta say ... pretty damn good!

It's been 4 weeks today since the capable Dr. X installed the anti-eating apparatus in my oh so blubbery mid-section. As advertised by the Doc and his staff, I feel completely healed and am suffering no side effects what-so-ever. Other than this strange hankerin' for a trash bag full of Fritos I can't seem to shake, life has settled in to my new normal. Yes, NEW normal.

I have totally embraced my band and what it stands for. That is commitment. It is just so crystal clear to me that inserting a medical device inside your body is the last, desperate measure a fat person can take. And why take this drastic step if you are not going to change your life? Well, so far, I have changed my life. Dramatically. I have not yet had my band filled which means it's wide open. I think I could pretty much get anything down the ol' yapper that I wanted and not have a stuck episode. But just knowing "Bandy" is in there, keeps me on the straight and narrow. Yep. I've changed. Hopefully for ever.

Although not required, I still start my day with the protein shake blended with a little ice. It's just like a milk shake and I like it! I have recently started adding a tablespoon of low sugar peanut butter to the chocolate flavored shakes and it's delish! So no more big breakfasts or even breakfasts that I thought were healthy for me. I'm sticking with these shakes whenever possible. Lunch has turned into a 240 calorie tuna snack lunch or a low fat soup. No more fast food, deli or 3 martini lunches for this fat ass!Dinner has consisted of ground up beef or turkey with a bit of flavoring, cooked veggies and some watermelon. And I'm good with it! It does help that wife wife L is a fine chef and makes even a mundane dish rival a nice dinner out. Add in my snacks of yogurt, sugar free puddin' and a night cap Fudgie bar, I'm feeling real satisfied. I am actually blown away that this is working.

Am I losing weight? You betcha! 30 unsightly pounds of extra mass have evaporated from my roly poly body. That's 2 bowling balls of F-A-T! Let that sink in.

Am I on target? You betcha! I was told to expect to lose 1.5 pounds a week after surgery. I'm exactly at that figure. If I can keep that pace up, I'll hit my 8th grade weight by October. Hey, there's another goal!

Do I have any pain? Nope.

Most importantly, can I play golf? Yep. 3 rounds last week alone.

So all in all, I am right where I should be. On the path to success!

As rosy as it all appears, there are a few bummers. I'm a party guy. As explained in detail in previous posts, I excel at eating, drinking and merrymaking. My history is legendary. And I if I could remember it, it would make quite a book. This No Fun Johnny is, well, no fun. I am making healthy decisions daily when comes to food and booze. That includes avoiding almost all situations that include the Devils temptresses. So far I have declined offers to at least 2 BBQs, 2 parties and a wedding. Yep. No fun at all. But this is the new normal. Am I embracing the No Fun Johnny? Nope.

Check back soon!

First band fill on Monday. Then we have to talk about the dreaded "W" word.

Floow along on my blog:

Thedeconstructionofjohnny.blogspot.com