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My Barrier

♕ajtexas♕

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I have thought about writing this blog all day long. Part of me says don’t write it, you are a success and you don’t want people thinking you slip up and fail. The other part of me says write this, maybe this will tell others that this journey is not easy and even after reaching goal & being declared a success you still struggle…

 

‘The other part’ won, so here goes….

 

I have always been called strong, never showing my weakness or emotions. It is a skill I learned early in life, build a protective barrier around you so no one can know how you feel or hurt you. The way I coped with this barrier was with food, it got me to 250 pounds….

When I started my weight loss journey I recognized this habit. That being said doesn’t mean that the habit went away or that it doesn’t get the best of me still.

Over the last couple of weeks I have experienced events in my life that caused me to retreat to my protected barrier and to comfort myself with junk food (ice cream, etc…).

 

Now, those closest to me know me well enough to see through the barrier and last night my husband did just that. He asked what was going on and I caved, I told him everything that was causing my stress, my work, my friends, and the whole lot. I had a good cry and we talked about how I could try and cope with things. I also confessed the eating that I had done and do you know what he did? He said, “Well trash is picked up tomorrow morning” and went into the kitchen, threw away all the trigger foods that I had mentioned. When he came back in he said to me, “You are worth so much more than any of that junk food. From now on there will be no junk in this house.” God, I love this man. I am so lucky to have such great family support.

 

Then, this morning one of my most dear friends asked me what was up. And again I caved and told her everything. Know what she said? “Done now….back on track” and then she said, “It is what it is; pull up those panties, put on those heels and work it!” Thanks princess, I needed to hear that. I am so lucky to have such great friends supporting me.

 

I know I can do this and I will do this for the rest of my life. I will have days and times where I stumble and fall. But, I will get myself up, brush myself off and keep going. Because I WANT this!

 

I guess what I am trying to say is that even the success stories (the veterans) make mistakes, have bad days, and go backwards. The important thing is to identify the problem and find a solution. Then get your ass back on track.

 

Thant is exactly what I am doing.



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I appreciate you sharing the reality of banded life. None of us are perfect and this is a great example of what we can do to help ourselves. We are human and having our own strength is great; however, we need that support system too. So glad you were able to open up and allow them to be a support system for you.

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Great post AJ we all battle the junk food demon inside especially during stressful times. Even at goal I have days when I battle my demons and old habits creep back in, the key is admitting and knowing when to ask for help. The old AJ and Love would continue to closet eat, the new us admits our flaws and moves forward. Great post!

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Thanks for sharing your inspirational story. I get banded on 8 July....and thankful to have people like you to read experiences from!

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I appreciate you sharing this. It's good to know I am not alone in faltering from time to time, but the key is getting back up and getting back to it.

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