UP, Down, All Around
I wonder when the mind games end, boy I hope they do end.
I know that we all have a problem when figuring out portion sizes, which is why measuring and weighing is so helpful.
But, what about our body.
My weight has bounced for months now. Up 2 lbs, down three, up 2, down 1, up 2, down 4- you get the picture. I slowly dropped from 199 in Dec. to the lowest I have seen 188 in May. I am currently doing the bounce thing still.
I haven't had a fill since Feb and have an appointment for one next week. My meals are no longer holding me 4 hours.
Any way with all the up down of the scale, what does that say for how I look? I look in the mirror and I see that my face is smaller, as is my body, but I still feel HUGE! I slide on one pair of 14 shorts and they fit perfect, then slide on another pair and they are loose.
Last night I went out for a Walk/Run with the hubs and 2 dogs. As I slipped on my 12/14 gym shorts that fit perfectly (last year they were like a 2nd skin), my sports bra and my old outer banks t-shirt. I realized that my boobs stick out further than my tummy now. I clearly see my feet.
All this is great, but I still feel like a walking Shamoo Show.
I am just getting so frustrated with all of it. It is like this process has become all consuming. Everything is about my band and my weight loss.
The doc said last time I have been successful, but I am still so big. I mean 188 is a lot less than 244, but still it's a long ways from the 125 the charts say I should be.
I by no means believe I will ever hit 125, but I would like to see the upper 130's- and low 140's. But, that is still 40+ pounds away.
I begin to wonder will I ever make it.
I am still very fatigued, which my OB/GYN attributes to my extremely low Vit D level, my mildly down B levels and my mildly low iron levels. I am currently work toward getting these up with insane regiment of pills.
Maybe, once my level get back in the homeostatic range with weight loss will continue.
Any one else feel like this sometimes?
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