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Scratching to Climb this Mountain....

Kime-lou

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The last week has been emotional. I have a lot going on in both my professional life as well as my personal life. I have a lot of decisions to make on both fronts that will effect the rest of my life. So needless to say I feel a little out of sorts.

 

At work we are changing systems and I have to write a software program to track some things that won't be tracked in the new system. Plus, I have to get all the training in for the new system so I can train everyone else.

 

My mother-in-law is begging us to come up north to see her. While we want to, right now with my crazy work life it is hard to find some time to take off.

 

My dog got crazy sick last Thursday night. Vomiting blood- we were at the ER vet at 3 am. Thank God she is better, but I am having to watch her like a hawk. Plus, she has gotten really clingy during all of this.

 

We have had a contractor working on our house. Had our deck enlarged from a 10x14 to a 25x14.

 

Managed to get to my mom's for mothers day, which I ate a dessert and shouldn't have. I had to leave my dog for a few hours with the hubs, which caused the dog to howl for 45 min, driving the hubs crazy. She finally tuckered herself out and went to sleep.

 

Mother's Day is hard for me. If I wouldn't have lost my first child, she would be 3 and a half now. I have lost two more since losing her. Then I went to my OB/GYN Monday and was told my chance for having a child are slim. He said I can keep trying, but he would not get to invested until we are through the first trimester and half of the 2nd. So it's hard to decide if we should give it another go or not. The thought of seeing a postive pregnancy test I think would scare me. I am so scared of losing another one.

 

My weight loss is still at a sllllooooowww pace. Since Dec. I have only lost 10 lbs. It's hard to stay positive and focused when I seem to be getting hits from all side. Last week was pretty good weight wise. I went down to 188. After Mother's Day weekend and a splurge up to 190. It is so easy to put on and so hard to take off. It seems I can't even have one cookie without my body flipping out and gaining weight. Being that I seem to stay busy from before the sun rises until after it set finding time to work out has been difficult.

 

I am exhusted from the fast pace of life right now, and the knowledge that it's not going to get any better any time soon.

 

On top of all this the hubs and I are trying to figure out if I should go back to school to finish out my degree that I was forced to give up on years ago due to finances.

 

So as you can see I have a lot going on. I am not sure what to do or which way to turn. I am just tired!!



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I read your post today and left and am now back, I want to say something to brighten your day or change your perspective, but I don't know what to say.

All of these things are important and you deserve to feel overwhelmed.

I don't know when and I don't know how, but eventually things will work themselves out, or you will see how these things helped you grow, idk, I really wish you the best, and believe things will get better! Good luck and take care.

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Life does get difficult for all of us from time to time, sorry your time is now. Prayers for peace to come over you.

I know what your saying about being pregnant. My granddaughter was born stillborn at 6mths, 3yrs ago on Thanksgiving. My daughter has not had Thanksgiving with us since.

What is so sad is that she wasn't suppose to be able to get pregnant at all. She has gone through 2 IVF procedures. First one didn't take, but now is 18wks pregnant and yes, we are all scared. I'm very proud of her b/c she isn't sitting around waiting, she's carrying on with life, which right now is selling and buying a new house.

I think I mentioned this to you before, but you need a Dr that will keeo an eye on your Progesterone level, for the first months of pregnancy. It kinda makes me mad that your Dr is pretty much saying" go ahead and try, but it won't work out". My thought, yiu need a new Dr and one that is an expert in problems with pregnancy. They are out there. I wish you all the best!

Sounds like you have enough on your plate, without adding school to it right now.IMHO

Hang in there and do the best you can.

Thoughts & Prayers

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