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Fat Day

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Kime-lou

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It's a week before my TOM, so maybe that is why I am feeling this way, but ugghhh!

 

I got up this morning like any other, weighed after potting, 190.8! Geez, how, I am following the rules. I want my 189 back or lower!!

 

Moving on with the morning routine, I put my clothes on and go to fix my hair. I had on a sleeveless top (I had a shirt to go over top that I would put on before leaving), as I am doing my hair. I lift my arms up to begin curling- OMG!!!!! My arms, OMG- they are huge, that is what a thigh should look like not my arm and the hubs says my arms are smaller- OMG!!! How big were they? Then my eye drop down- I fail to see any of the postives that have come with losing 50+- I only see the remaining fat rolls! I see how my tummy still pouches, my back fat- UGH- I am a huge fat hippo!! I feel like having surgery did nothing for me- ok I realize that isn't true, but I am in full pitty party mode. I have only lost 54 lbs in 10 months- I am a failure - others have lost so much more. Why didn't I have bypass, then maybe I would be smaller now. I am sick of getting stuck at meals! My pitty party was in full swing.

 

I wasn't just thinking all this the hubs was sleepily listening. Finally, when I turned and said if I am this freaking huge now, just how big was I really before I lost the weight. At that point the hubs just said I love you and you are beautiful to me and turn and walked out!! He knew there was no talking to me at that point, I was firmly in the mode. As most men can relate, when a woman is in this mode there is nothing a man can say and not get in trouble for, so it is best to be quiet- my husband know this all to well.

 

Now a few hours later I am at work, still down, but not total pity party. I am just in the mode of ok, this sucks I want to lose more, I am tired of this being so slow, so what do I do now.

 

As much as I do not want to add a more rigourous exercise routine to my plan, I think that is the next step I need to do. Also, trimming carbs even more- I dont' like this, but if it helps and get me to where I want/need to be then I gotta get with it.

 

So tonight after work- I do have the push mow the lawn (I actually do enjoy this- gives me time to think while doing something productive that has a postive result I can see when I am done). I am also going to have a talk with the hubs, I am going to need support from him to kick it into the next level. He has always been supportive and loving and I know he will be this time to.

 

So how many of you have pity party days, where you still feel like a beached whale?

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How about...7 days a week!! LOL I have only lost 70lbs in almost 3 years so I totally feel you! I have another 70+ to go and it is harder than I ever imagined. I need to get my head out of my butt and focus on what I need to do to move forward and not what I havent done right in the past.

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I so agree with everything you wrote. Last night I was looking in the big mirror in the bathroom and saw the Bingo arms-OMG! I have lost 73 pounds since March, 2012 but only around 45 since July when I got banded and that bothers me a lot. I did get down to 193 once or twice but I stay around 195. But then it took longer than one year for me to get to the 268.

We are eating healthier and moving my sedate bodies and that deserves a star.*

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I am in awe of the weight loss you all have achieved. I think a pity party is normal (even for thin people) but try not to let that negative thinking ruin your day! Look how far you have come!! That is successful in my book!

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