Despite another 45 minute wait, I was pleasantly surprised by today's one-on-one with my surgeon - yet another case for the wisdom of reserving judgment on any given situation. Given the vibe that goes around in my own office and the devils that drive us, I'm willing to bet there are plenty of days we come off as a bunch of witches on wheels.

The surgeon spent almost an hour with me reviewing the test results. The verdict? It appears the stomach has mushroomed over the band. Based on the inflammation, it's got to come out. Though my BMI has dropped below what my insurance carrier would tradtionally approve for a revision to a gastric sleeve, my surgeon seems to feel that there's enough to document I've made a good-faith effort and it's the band that failed, not me.

Interestingly enough, he told me that his practice is taking out as many bands as they're putting in, and not as many people are getting them in the first place.

So now I have to decide if I'm just going to have it out or if I'm going to also have revision surgery done at the same time. My husband just wants it gone. He's tired of eating dinner alone and that our friends never invite us out to dinner for fear I'll be uncomfortable or worse. We haven't gone out for dinner in over a year. I dread the required business lunches, charity events involving a meal - even a recent girls' night out for drinks took a turn for the worse when the girls I was with ordered dinner. I wasn't offended and they know it doesn't bother me when they nosh. It was the server who made my life hell. Let's face it - I'm not some waif, so apparently when I declined to order anything she felt the need to comment each time she came to our table..."Sure you're not hungry? You look like you've got a good appetite". When I finally caved and ordered a small appetizer of soft potato puffs even that wasn't enough for her..."Is that all you're going to eat?!". When I couldn't finish it and declined a to-go box, it was..."You barely touched this? Didn't like it?".

I feel like I've had enough surgeries to last a life time but I don't want the weight I lost to come back and I don't want to spend the rest of my life avoiding cameras and feeling like a small tug boat entering a room. I am afraid of complications for a non-reversable procedure and wonder if I just need to accept that at almost 50, my ship has sailed. I'll never be young again. I was pretty for about 15 minutes when I was 23. I wasted my 30's and 40's being obese. It seems like a waste of time to attempt another surgery that may not make any difference just as it seems ridiculous for me to bother having breast reconstruction - I'd need a full body re-do to actually look good.

My husband's vote is to just have it out and then commit to "trying harder and working out more" - Gee, if it were that easy would any of us on this site even be here?

So - anyone out there gone from the band to nothing and maintained &/or continued to lose? Anyone gone from band to sleeve? Good? Bad? I want to hear about it!