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There are Two Types of People Who Offer Help on this Forum....

Terry Poperszky

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Now, this is an obvious generalization, so please bear with me.

 

There are two types of people on this forum, Moms and Dads...And it has nothing to do with gender.

 

Moms are the empaths, sympathizing with the hurts and bruises of the people here, taking into account their feelings when they give their advice. Patting them on the back as they are bent over the toilet puking their guts out because they tried to test their band.

 

Dads are the authoritarians, telling people who ate a cheeseburger and fries on the way home from post-op "WTF did you do that for, are you stupid?" and "I was able to work my band, what the hell is wrong with you"?

 

The friction I see on the site comes many times from the Moms and Dads fighting over the best way to help the kids, when in reality, both types of advice and help are necessary for the people who come here. We need to stop beating each other up, and start realizing that we NEED both types of people. So, in the words of that great wise man Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along"?

 

BTW, as I said at the start this is a generalization and the reality is not quite so clear, I personally relate more to the "Dads" on the board, but my heart also weeps for those who are struggling getting the band to work for them, especially when it has been so easy for me.



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I love this and you are so right!

I personally need the figurative dad approach for me and tend to be that way myself, but I also know that some people respond better to "moms" and if your one of these people the "dads" always seem like bullies. I have 4 kids and three of them have to get the "dad" or they take advantage but their is 1 little girl that needs the "mom" which is hard to find in this house try as I may (and I do, especially with her) but she has told more than once that she feels like a lamb with a pack of wolves, really? I think we're not so bad yet she and only her always feels bullied.

Thanks for posting this I see the same things here at LBT and I will think "what they said wasn't mean" yet someone has hurt feelings, your right we all need to remember we all have different needs.

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It often really is quite distressing when people say you're rude when in all reality they do not know you personally. I'm not pulling any punches because I did not get where I am being coddled, eating crap or puking up my guts. I got where I am because I followed the instructions given to me and continue to do so every single day give or take a few but you know where I'm coming from.

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Good post Terry. I've been on this site since late December to get info and find out what to expect. I didn't really get the hand holding I was looking for from the doctor's office and I was really nervous about this procedure and my life afterwards.

It seems to me...also a generalization...that alot of folks have unrealistic expectations...that the weight will melt off...that hunger will no longer be an issue, and that somehow this will all happen magically. When that doesn't happen, people make poor choices.

Then they post this experience and you get the moms and dads giving advice and/or sympathizing. When I post something, I just try to be positive and encouraging without lecturing. I think most folks know when they know they did something self sabotaging.. .

Now I do admit that I have lost more weight than I expected at this point in my journey, but I know this will not continue. I'll slow down and plateau at some point. I just find that the band helps me to make better decisions because I'm not hungry all the time and I DO NOT want to get stuck or throw up. That is a great motivator for me..

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