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Self Control

morelgirl

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Not the self control needed to keep from eating. Thanks to yesterday's fill, I'm currently honeymooning in the luxury resort of little food = long satiety. Yay me.

 

No, I'm talking about the self control it takes me to remove myself from a conversation with no constructive outcome. The self control it takes not to yell and scream and tear out my hair when someone exhibits just how widespread the stigmatization of the obese in our culture has gone. It's so accepted in our culture to hate obesity and the people who suffer from it,that we have successfully convinced the obese to hate themselves.

 

Personally, I hate being fat. I hate it so much that I underwent weight loss surgery in the hopes of becoming thin. But I spent enough years in therapy in the meantime to understand that the reason we hate obesity is the same reason why racists hate minorities and homophobes hate gays--because we are afraid of them, and afraid of what they tell us about ourselves. We have managed to convince ourselves that people with the disease of obesity (and yes, the National Association of Chronic Disease Doctors classifies it as a disease, as well as many experts in endocrinology and associated sciences) are entirely at fault for their own condition and should view them selves with the same condemnation and disgust and shame that our culture view them.

 

Do people who are overweight generally eat too much? Yes, but science is only beginning to understand that there are biological reasons WHY we eat too much, that there are disorders systems in our bodies (endocrine, neurological, etc) that do not react the same way that those in individuals without the disease react. There is something more wrong with an obese person than that they eat too much and move too little. If eating less and moving more were a real solution, no one would be fat, and WLS would not exist.

 

It makes me so angry and so emotionally hurt when people who struggle with obesity deny the idea that it is a disease, that it is not just a matter of being greedy and lazy and no damn good that makes us weigh too much, because if we agree with the rest of the world that we should hate ourselves, what hope for real happiness will we ever have, no matter how much weight we gain or lose?



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Just like any other addiction, we use our addiction to comfort ourselves, which causes obesity which causes more bad feeling and more comfort etc.....Also known as "Head Hunger".

Until we learn to recognize what we're doing and find healthier ways to comfort ourselves the addiction will continue.

So in my opinion, any addiction whether alcohol, drugs, sex or food, will not be cured until we fix our heads.

There is always going to be ppl hating on overweight ppl, but with a good support system , we can learn to love ourselves no matter what. I know I have.

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Obesity is at epidemic proportions in this country. Not that this is a disease any of us want to have, but at least we're in good company :-)

Coming to terms with this issue has been a life long process for me. And at 57, I still haven't come to terms. I thought if I could only accept myself this way, then I could take the pressure off and move on with my life. But I can't; never have, never will. But after so many years with large swings in weight, I know this is a disease; one that MANY of us are predisposed to.

There will always be the idiots that do not understand. I've found that the "can't you just eat less and exercise more" mentality, with harsh judgements seeing us as weak, come from people that I wouldn't want in my inner circle whether I'm fat OR thin. But anyone with a half of brain, who lives in this culture, should see and understand that it's just not that simple. As you say (morelgirl), if it were that simple, no one would be overweight.

I think it's great that you're finding the self control to walk away from conversations without a good outcome. We can't change the way the world thinks, but we can take care of ourselves, and move away from the ignorant. I have enough work to do, without feeling the need to control/change the thoughts and opinions of others.

Thanks for the post. It hit a nerve with many of us.

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