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Memory

Terry Poperszky

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I remember during my undergrad studies in Psychology reading a paper that talked about people who were addicted to gambling and a peculiar memory trait that only allowed them to remember the times that they won. This caused them to constantly misjudge the odds when placing a bet, because the were overly optimistic about their chances.

 

I think that we who are fat have a similar trait, but in reverse. We only remember the times that we have failed in our journey to be fit, and so when there is temptation, when there are rough spots we err by forgetting all the scale victories, all the nsvs, all the times that we beat temptation and made a right choice and we only remember the times when we failed. So we believe that failure is inevitable and give in.

 

Today has been a hard day for me, I am experiencing a bit of bandster hell, combined with a generous portion of head hunger and emotional eating and the only thing I can think about is why bother, I am just going to fail anyhow. No, I haven't given in to those voices, but I have had one NSV after another this last week, I am within 4 pounds being at the lowest weight I have been at since I was a freshman in high school, and yet my failures are the memories parade before me today.

 

One of the things that the people of the Old Testament did when God did something spectacular in their lives was they built a marker, a pile of stones to remind them of the victory that had happened in that place. I think I need to start building some markers in my life so that I can concentrate on the victories, and not the defeats.



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Great message Terry. One way to build those markers is by rewarding yourself so that you associate the reward (non-food) with your NSV. For example, when I could ride a certain distance I rewarded myself with a new road bike. That was pretty big reward but was all the more special because my husband initiated it.

Another reward I gave myself was a new gold watch when I hit a scale goal. Since then I've had another link removed and it is loose again.

Keep up your great work!

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Thank you for sharing this. I agree with the "stinkin thinkin" for fat people. What a nasty cycle. We are our own worst enemies. Congrats on all your successes......you are truly an inspiration for us newbies.

:)

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I went to my LB support group last night and someone shared what a friend who had WLS had done. He mounted a whiteboard in his garage and kept a list of all of his victories (NSV and SV), of all the goals that he had accomplished on that board where he could see it every time he got in or out of his car. I think I may try and come up with something similar.

Thanks for all your kind words.

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Terry, really glad I looked back on some of the blogs of the past week and saw this one. It is so true on how it is so easy for us to look at your failures and not at our victories. I was thinking about the markers you talked about and was reminded of a Biggest Loser episode from several years ago. The contestants had been competing for several weeks and the show took them out to a football field and had all of these bags on the field. In each bag was some sort of product that weighed as much as that particular contestant had lost in the previous weeks. Then the contestants had to walk across the field carrying that bag of weight.They were amazed at how heavy the bags were and how tired they were after carrying them. That was their marker. So, having said that, the last 2 weeks have been a little disappointing to me. I was banded on January 23rd and including pre-op have lost 27 lbs and am excited about that, but, I have been at that weight for 2 weeks now. I know I shouldn't be bummed, but wish I could get the scale to move. So, last night my son and I were at Target and were passing the exercise area. On the end of the aisle was a display of weights. I picked up the 20 lb weight and was a little surprised at how heavy it seemed. I have lost that 20 lb weight plus 7 more. If I had to carry around that bag with 27 lbs up and down a football field I would be exhausted. That was my marker. If you had to carry a bag with all of the weight you have lost how would you feel after walking up and down the field? Maybe a visualization of that bag of weight could be your marker.

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Great post Terry! Those little voices are hard to ignore. We must, as we lose and succeed, replace them with positive affirmation.

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