​I feel very bad about your father. My mother is almost 95 and had to be put in a nursing home. It was hard for us for she was the care taker of my retarded brother. My mother has dementia. She is near where my brother lives. We refer to my mother's room as her apartment and she is doing ok. She knows her 3 children and knows her grandson's faces but has no idea what their names are. It is very hard. She hates to change her clothes and take showers. That is what nursing homes are for. I am Jewish and my mother was never into going to temple. She now goes to Friday night services and takes her black friend with her. It is better for her. It will kill you because it kills me that my mother who was the world's greatest cook and baker doesn't recall any of that. She doesn't remember where she lived for 46 years. It is very hard. I am here if you need help with this. I wish your father well.

Arlene

It's a very hard struggle you are going through right now but look at it this way: If you don't stay healthy for them then who will take care of both of them. At some time through out the day eat. Whether you want to or not. Your health is important for them now and not all nursing homes are bad. Im not saying to put your mother in one when your dad passes but you have to look out for yourself now more then ever because they need you. You have to know that just because your mother said she never wanted to go in one of those places, she wont remember that. Dealing with elderly parents is all of our worst struggles at middle age and doing what is best for them while trying to do what is best for us. I hope you find some kind of peace in your life to do what you think is right. No matter what you still have to take care of you.

We just had Hospice over their house & we had to talk about some very uncomfortable things; such as when dad can't take care of himself. Who will?

Fortunately, our Hospice team is wonderful. I just can't say enough about the nurses. They're going to arrange it so that dad has nurses check in on him twice a week AND have ...oh, what did they call them, like a nurses aid or something, stop by twice a week (for now) so that they can cook, do laundry, help him with baths, etc... I told them, I can help with that too. But they said, we know you can, but wouldn't it be nice to have help? Gosh, I almost cried, just because of the over-whelming feeling I had inside. Oh, I kept it together. Can't let mom & dad know that I'm stressed out. That doesn't help.

It's a struggle for sure. Your parents are the most amazing people & to see them go down hill is just heart-breaking. You want to do what's right & be there, just like you do for your kids. I swear life is a full circle! I do need to take care of myself, because I need to be there for them. I know the next few months, or year, will be quite challenging.

Heck, I just made myself a protein drink with ... Pure Protein (30 grms), 2 scoops of protein powder (15 grms), 1 scoop flaxseed, cinnamon, greek yogurt (12 grms), and a banana. Quite tasty actually. Of course, I can't drink the whole thing at once, but that gives like 57 grms of protein for the day right there!

Thanks for listening & commenting guys. It means a lot to have some feedback... xoxoxo

When my father was alive and my mother insisted on keeping him home I found wonderful services with the city of Boston. That was where they lived then. Based on income I got a person to bath my father 3 times a week and for 2-3 hours a week someone to clean the house. It really helped my mother. My mother was 87 almost 88 then.

Today when I saw my mother she asked if I was her oldest daughter, I am her only one and the youngest of 3. Dementia really sucks.

Good luck and accept all the help you can get.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!

God bless her Arlene

Happy Valentine's Day!