I'm an Army Wife - tomorrow marks my husband's 1 year enlistment anniversary. This is significant to me because if it wasn't for him enlisting and for Tricare I don't know where I would be right now.

I have always been a little on the heavy side - but I was healthy, pretty active, and looked great. But it was drilled into me from a young age to "diet diet diet" and I never appreciated how healthy and beautiful I was until it was too late. After HS, I slowly started gaining weight - I was about 190 when I graduate and around 220 a year and a half later when I got pregnant. Pregnancy started off great - I was gaining right on schedule, exactly as my OBGYN expected me to. But somewhere near the end, things started spiraling out of control and he was at a loss for why I was continuing to gain.

When it came time for me to give birth, I was close to 320. About a month after delivery, I dropped 30lbs without even trying - most of it water weight. My legs were sooooo swollen during pregnancy that I stretch marks - yes stretch marks - on my ankles. I was jumping for joy when I could see my beautiful bony ankles again! I even told my husband that I don't care how fat I ever got - so long as I had my ankles! LOL

After that, things really stagnated. I tried doing a couple diets with little success. One diet program I tried was called "Quick Weight Loss" - it was a community type thing, like WW, that required almost daily weigh ins and a strict diet. They really stressed using their supplements and vitamins, but they were expensive and I didn't want to use them - I figured if I couldn't lose the weight eating regular food, then it just wasn't going to work in the long run! Anyways, about a month in to this diet and I just couldn't do it. I tried really hard, but the stress of measuring and weighing and organizing a meal plan were just too much for me. This was *very* strict. I could only have an exact portion of salt, could only have certain meats so many times a week, and needed to have so many vegetables and a lot of variety. I couldn't eat any of the things that I enjoyed, and many times I just wouldn't be HUNGRY any more - but still had food on my plate, that I was required to eat. I was stressing about food and thinking about it so much more than I ever had in my life and I just couldn't live like that.

I did adopt a few things from that experience though - I'm careful about my sodium intake, I cook almost all my own food and LOVE cooking from scratch, and I eat a lot more protein in my meals (our family practically lives off chicken!).

The other true diet that I tried was one of those meal replacement things called "ViSallus." The plan was you eat 2 shakes a day, one for breakfast and one for lunch, and then have a normal dinner and small snacks throughout the day. Sounds good right? Well the shakes - which everyone RAVED about and were suppose to be one of their selling points - tasted NASTY. They tasted like cake batter and the ONLY recipe I found that masked that horrid taste of sweetness was chocolate/peanut butter. I tried using frozen fruit, I tried using different flavor additives, but nothing helped. Eventually it got to the point where it took me half the day to finish half of a shake - instead of the 2 shakes I should have eaten. It's like my body said "If this is all there is to eat, than I'm fine not eating!" and I just wasn't hungry anymore.

So here I am. And I've finally decided to take control. The thing that appealed to me the most about lapband was the idea that I don't have to be so crazy and obsessed and precise for the rest of my life - it's simple - I eat a portion of protein, and then have fruits/veggies. I can do that! I can roast chicken, I can grill fish, I can broil shrimp - and I can most definitely eat some apple slices or cucumber slices or have a salad or whatever. And to find out that one day I might be able to just go out to eat with friends and family and order from the same menu as everyone else was enough to bring me to tears! To know that one day I *won't* be hungry, that I can learn how to eat a reasonable sized meal and be satisfied, that I can learn new habits and stop grazing - it's so inspiring and motivating to me. Heck just learning what "reasonable" means would be a step forward!