I had my first adjustment today. It didn't hurt a bit, at least not the fill itself. I did find out a few interesting things about the band and about myself:

1. I have a small 10cc band

2. I only had 2 ccs in the band at surgery

3. I MUST have willpower after all since there has been hardly any restriction, yet I have been steadily losing since the surgery

I had an additional 2 ccs added to the band today, and go back in 2 weeks for another adjustment. I still don't feel much restriction, but that doesn't concern me too much.

What DID hurt me is when the nurse told me I had only lost 6 pounds, not the 18lbs I have worked so hard to lose. Say what??? You see, they are using my starting weight from the day of my first consultation, not from my surgery date, as I have been doing. On 9/21/12, I weighed 213. On each subsequent visit, my weight inched up a little more. At my highest recent weight, I was 230. On 12/28/12 (surgery date), after a few days of a liquid diet, I weighed 226, so that has been the starting point I have used.

Even though I know what I have actually lost and the sacrifices I have made since actually going under the knife, I admit it was a little disheartening to have them showing me at a mere 6 lb loss. The disappointment is my fault though. I have nobody but myself to blame. I was on an eating frenzy from the time that I knew I was approved for surgery until a few days before the actual surgery. I know it was the holidays, but that was no excuse. I should have just said no to the carne asada nachos. No to the margaritas. No to the pizza. No to the bbq ribs, peach cobbler, ice cream, and fried chicken.

I didn't say no, though. In a last ditch effort, I made it a point to gorge on all of my favorite foods almost every day before the surgery, and I set myself back 13 pounds in the process. Had I used the willpower and self-control that I have been operating off of for these past few weeks (at 2ccs), I would already be well under the 200lb mark. If only........(sigh).....I can't do anything about the prior indiscretions that caused my self-inflicted setback. Going forward, however, I vow to take every day of this journey seriously. I am DETERMINED to succeed!